Elder Devin Daniels

2 Timothy 4: 7, 9

2010-03-25T13:18:00.000-07:00

I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith.

Do thy diligence to come shortly unto me:

Sacrificing Yosemite

2010-03-25T13:16:00.002-07:00

Family,

I just can't believe how many miracles we saw last week as a result of the 40 day fast. Sis. Escobar, who felt prompted on the first day of her fast to talk to her neighbor, and found out her neighbor was looking for a church, brought her neighbors to church yesterday. They were so moved by the spirit, making comments like, "This is exactly what I want for my family," "That is what I needed to hear," and the list goes on. They were so impressed they wanted to go on the tour the next day, monday, today, which is preparation day, and they could only go in the afternoon because the husband works in the Navy and is gone for the entire week. Well, we originally had a grand trip to Yosemite planned for today. This, I believe, is the Lord's final attempt at testing where my priorities lie. Needless to say, Yosemite has been shoved to the side, and we'll be doing the tour in about an hour.

Next, a story. Once upon a time, there was a comcast man, who was working at the house near where Elder Clawson and I were tethering up our bikes. I tipped my metaphorical hat to this man and said, "Hey, who's getting comcast?" To which this man replied with a big grin on his face, "EVERYONE'S GETTING COMCAST!" What a great pitch. I laughed for hours.

Another story. We had a tour in the afternoon. This ward is tough to get afternoon team-ups. Bro. Sauls is one of the only ones that can go with us in the afternoon. Well, his car broke down, but he promised us he'd be there, so after scratching my head, I wished him God speed, and we prepared for our church tour which he was to be the team-up. By the way, our church is out of our area, and it takes us fifteen minutes by bike to get there. Anyhew, the scheduled time for the lesson arrives, and who should come rolling up on his roller blades but Bro. Sauls. I remembered to praise him for it in my talk yesterday.

Speaking of my talk, it went amazing! Ha, I can't believe how much I feel apart of this ward. Tearing away is going to be like separating myself from a plasma grenade in Halo 3, which, as far as I'm aware, isn't possible without it first going off. Sad day.

I'm ready to work this next week into the ground! I'm also ready to see everyone again. Ha, getting reset up back into real life is going to be a trick. A car, a wardrobe, a cell phone, and xbox 360, this will be fun! I'm even planning on heading to costco to grab the huge thing of protein powder to boost my body fat % to a healthy 8. Hey, there's a great homecoming gift! *wink wink* Oh, and someone told me to go with whey protein, because soy will turn me into a girl. Who knew?

A man we've been working with for a while, and who investigated the church over a year ago, committed to fast for an answer. Well, he fasted. And he got an answer. It was amazing. He's really switched gears in his investigation, and accepted a baptismal date for the end of March. We now have 2 with a date, and hopefully the church tour we're taking this family on this afternoon will be a spiritual powerhouse.

Finally, does anyone know Dr. Craig R Boothe in St. George? A member asked me, so I thought I'd throw it out there.

Well family, I hope the week goes by quickly but not too quickly if you know what I mean. For any of my friends who are reading this, I'm bringing back a ton of quarters to play at the Dairy Queen Slot Machine (the gumball machine with the *winner* gumballs that get you free blizzards). Enjoy this fine March 2010 of ours.

-Elder Devin Daniels

The 40 day fast

2010-03-25T13:16:00.001-07:00

Wish I had 40 days to see it all pan out.

Family!

For those of you who don't know what a 40 day fast is, it's when a member family signs up each day for 40 days and fasts for something. This time it's missionary work, bwa ha ha ha. Guess who was behind that one? Today is day 2 of the fast and we've already seen a miracle. Sis. Escobar kept getting these promptings yesterday that she needed to go and talk to her neighbor, and she just couldn't get it out of her head. So she took some food by and said hi, wished her a happy new year (the neighbor is Asian), and they got to talking. The neighbor asks, completely unprompted, which church the Escobars go to. It turns out that she's looking for a church to go to, and she's going to give ours a try, starting with the ward game night this Saturday, followed by a tour of the church building. Woohoo!

With 7 days between now and the next time I email, I'm sure I'll have a slew of miracles to sling at you all, so be ready.

Also, here's a story about how I hope my family to turn out.

Bro. Vale is a highly respected member of the community here, and is a member of the high council as well. He's probably in his late 50's. We go over there to say hi and see how things are going and, much to my pleasant surprise, he and his neighbors, the Walkers, who are also members of the church, and tearing it up on Call of Duty: World at War, slaying hordes of Nazi Zombies. These are some of the key players and most influential people of the ward here, enjoying themselves a little XBOX 360. I can honestly say that that is how I envision my family.

In other news, we now have someone with a baptismal date for March 27, we have an eternal investigator fasting for an answer about the Book of Mormon this Wednesday to be followed with a church tour on Thursday, and we've got a friend lined up for Bro. Uhl. We've got a pretty good line up for this week.

Thus concludes my announcements to my loving family. Hope all is well and that you're able to contain yourselves until that great and dreadful day where I will break through the vail, back into St. George. Make sure there are controllers enough for all of us. Take care.

Elder Devin A. Daniels

Super Greg, #1

2010-02-17T14:02:00.000-08:00

Wow, this has been the most exciting day of emails of my entire mission. Looks like the flight plans are in and everyone is going to be there! Ah ha ha ha, awesome! I'm very excited. At the same time, I've still got a bit of the pre-return depression, you know, realizing your life is about to change dramatically and you don't get to go be such a huge part of people's lives anymore, but I'm sure a heaping dose of Left 4 Dead will solve that.

Just to get it out there, looks like I'm scheduled to land at 6:00 PM, Wed. March 10th. Anyone who reads this is invited to attend, but I can't promise much, other than a grand pose on the tarmac.

My entire mission I've given one single talk in sacrament meeting, so I've been planting seeds with the entire Bishopric to change it. "Hey Bishop, did you know I've given one talk in the past two years? Crazy, huh? You know, if you're ever out of speakers..." Wierd, I know, but I just want to try out my homecoming jokes on a real audience while gaining the trust of the members and getting them to do more missionary work. Who can argue with that? I doubt my companion likes me talking like that, because usually if they get one of us, they call the other one shortly afterwards. Anyhew, yep, it worked, and I'll be giving my prototype homecoming talk on March 28th.

Our mission President, President Gonzalez, is one of the greatest men I know. Not only because he's a spiritual giant, but also because he's hilarious. He was mentioning something stupid someone did, and afterwards threw his arms out in the air and said, "HELLLLLO MCFLY!" hitting himself on the head. Just one of the many friends I'm going to miss.

Do I have much else to report? Well, our most progressing investigator is doing missionary work. He brought his sister, who is building an interest in the church, to church 2 days ago. My goodness, life is getting great. We even convinced the ward to do a 40 day fast on missionary work, with one family fasting each day (in one day periods) for 40 days specifically for the missionary work. It will be incredible. Unfortunately I won't be here for the entire duration of it T_T so I'll miss out on a good chunk of miracles.

Other than that, I'm greatful you're all making the sacrifice to meet me in St. George. Don't worry -- my homecoming talk will be worth the expenses.

-Elder Devin Daniels

4 your information

2010-02-08T12:54:00.000-08:00

Family,

Bro. Uhl is doing great. He tells us he's 98% ready to be baptized. No date yet, but keep him in your prayers.

So this week, we did the most random service ever. Bro. Davila enlisted us as a middle-school girl's math tutor. That was interesting. Anyhew, after our help she's pretty much teaching the class now.

I also discovered that our Ward Mission Leader loves World of Warcraft, so watch out for him. He fights for the alliance.

Other than that, there's life. It was announced from the pulpit when I'll be leaving the mission, so now everyone in the 8th ward knows about the eminent move, which means for the next four weeks I'll be answering the following questions:

"What are you going to do when you get home?" "Are you excited?" "Are you going to school?" "Are you planning on getting married?"

Yep. I remember hearing my trainer, who was leaving when I was with him, get all those questions, dinner after dinner after dinner.

Well, I'm done for the day. Stay amazing.

-Elder Daniels

Week 1 of the transfer: Complete

2010-02-01T17:52:00.000-08:00

Family,

This has been the best week I’ve had in this area. I feel like we’re actually pulling our own weight in the zone! It is a good feeling.

So! I can’t remember if I told you all about Ben, an 11-year inactive we street contacted who wants to get back in church and was super interested in the church tour. Well, while we were talking to him, his girlfriend Deanna walked out, kind of hung out in the background, and then said, “I’m not a member of your church, but can I go on the tour too?”

The time for the tour arrived, and there they were! Punctual and ready. The tour flowed smoothly, and in the end Deanna was in tears and Ben was testifying of the church. Deanna even said she will be baptized. Yep, we’re pretty excited.

Our other amazing investigators the Spurlock’s and the Uhl’s both took turns testifying of the Restoration when we visited them this week.

We’re also teaching a gamer who I can identify pretty well with, and he’s coming on the tour this week.

Training is training. My new companion’s name is Elder Clawson and he’s spent short spurts of time living all around the United States, including Enterprise Utah, just north of St. George. He’s excited to work.

Last, I was pleasured to overhear a hilarious conversation between a man at the library hear and my good friends the Spanish Elders. Here’s a little how it went. They were talking about Jesus Christ, and the man was talking about trinity doctrine, when Elder Dastrup asks very unthreateningly, “Well I have a question for you. When Jesus Christ was on the cross, and he said, ‘Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.’ Who was he talking to?” “Himself, of course! Don’t you ever talk to yourself?”

Laughs were had by me.

I appreciate all your prayers for the Modesto 8th ward. Keep it up! They are working. The plan is to get 3 more baptisms before my triumphant return home, so stay tuned for the progress. Take care.

-Elder Daniels

The exciting conclusion of Elder Daniels mission‏

2010-01-25T12:02:00.001-08:00

And now for the moment you've been waiting weeks for. Just where and how will Elder Daniels spend his last transfer here in the California Fresno mission? Dun dun dun dun! Training! In the 8th ward! After having successfully applied spiritual defibrillator to the area and drummed up decent success, it's up to Elder Daniels to get a young, stalwart missionary up to speed and ready to take over the new area. Yep, pretty exciting stuff. Here's some more exciting stuff. I got my weight analyzed, and it looks like I'm at about 5% body fat. You know what that means! One of the members here in the ward is a personal trainer, and she has advised me to get at least 180 grams of protein per day until I get up into a healthy body fat. That's exciting. I've never done protein powder. Hopefully I don't turn yellow like some people I know did. Next, the rain has been very exciting, as it has been falling constantly. Puddles, a by product of the rain, have taken over entire streets in certain places. These places are dangerous to be near as a bicyclist for many many reasons, one of them I found out first hand. Sound muffled by the wind, I could scarecly here the 2 ton truck barrelling up the road behind me as I passed by one of these lake-grade puddles. Of course, one of the many advantages to dressing like Neo from the matrix is that the trench coat is more than just stylish -- it's practical -- and kept me from becoming a missionary popsical with the torrenting wave of water that nearly knocked me off my bike. Everythings coming up Milhouse! Miracle story #1) So we've been trying by this former investigator for a few weeks who got antied. We tried once and met him. He was going through a ton, so expressed our love and emotional support. Encounter #2 was about the same. Encounter #3 occurred last week, as our new friend invited us in and immediately began serving us warm pretzels. He thanked us for our persistance, and we'll be doing service for him next week. Miracle story #2) Everyday street contact? Wrong! This one turned out to be a member standing alongside a girl of some sort, be it wife, girlfriend, something. This member had been inactive since 17 (he's 28 now) and wanting to come back to church. We pitched the church tour program to him and he signed right up. The cherry on the whole thing was the comment made by the girl he was with. "I'm not a member, but can I come on the tour too?" Ah ha ha ha, I love it! Well, I'm excited for what the new transfer may bring. Hopefully Sonya is accepted into Abraham's bosom during my final stretch, by either way I'm staying focussed and aiming at 3 more baptisms before I'm gone. Pray me luck! -Elder Daniels

2010-01-20T15:14:00.000-08:00

This is the last week before transfers. Woo hoo! Next Monday around 11 o'clock AM California time, be at behind your computer screens and at the edge of your seats to find out exactly how Elder Daniels will be finishing his mission! First off, I'd like to take some time to point out that this winter has been the best winter of my life weather-wise. Oh muh goodness, there were 4 days where it got into the 60's and it felt like summer. It has been so much warmer than last year and with much, much less dense fog to cut through on my unairconditioned bike. This week, on the other hand, is full of rain storms, which usually translates into a ton of dense fog, but it's been a nice run so far. I may come home with frostbite, but at least I've been comfortable thus far. Here's something exciting many of you may not know: Modesto is home of the ONLY general mills factory that makes Grape Nuts. Do you remember Grape Nuts? Grape Nuts is the cereal that's full of those miniscule little crunchy things that neither taste like grapes, nor nuts. Anyhew, if you've eaten Grape Nuts, they were made right here in Mo-Town. Last week was fun in that I got to go on an exchange with my good friend from Monterrey Mexico, Elder Perez. He knows all the cool trick lessons. Anyhew, here's a picture from the exchange that I'll cherish forever. The one in the picture is my current district leader and his fly brazillian hunnie, Elder Oliveira.

Part 2:
Sorry to cut that one short. Here's some more me. The last thing I wanted to tell you about was about the guy who flagged us down on the street. Way nice, and the lesson was way awesome. He's super open. Miracles are happening, so thanks for keeping Modesto 8th in your thoughts. I will talk to you all next week.

Miracles with a side of miracle-fried miracles‏

2010-01-04T11:45:00.000-08:00

Family, Miracles happened! Miracle the First) Last week's dinner calendar came back to us after church looking absolutely famished. One dinner for the whole week. And so, after much prayer and fasting, I picked up the phone and began calling every member I had even the slightest relationship with, and voila! We ended out the week with not one, but 5 dinners. Truly a miracle in our day and age. Miracle the Second) After exerting all our energies on finding and getting people to church, we went to sacrament meeting with low expectations. None of our most solid of solid investigators were able to make it. Then, a flash of light pierced the sky, and Lamonte, an inactive for over a year, walked through the chapel doors with nonmember friend Vincent in tow. After overcoming fits of extreme elation, I calmed down enough to arrange to take them both on a church tour this Wednesday. Miracle the Third) Word must have gotten around about our poor dinner situation, because the dinner calendar came back to us perfectly satiated with the names of members. 14 people signed up in one day. Never in my 22 months as a missionary have I ever seen a calendar so full at the beginning of the month. Truly a blessing from on high. Needless to say, it was a much better week than last. People allowed us to come and teach them, and our key indicators actually looked good. Some of you may remember me writing about the mission's goal for 1000 baptisms in 2009. Well, to give you context, in 2007 we got 519, and in 2008 we got 588, so the jump to 1000 was a pretty big one. Well, we didn't make it, BUT we did get 937 baptisms, which is not a bad job considering what a huge leap it took to get there. 2010's goal will be 1200. Sadly, I will not be here to help for most of it. So that's life here in Modesto 8th ward, feature city of the movie Monsters VS Aliens. Hope all is well in your respective states. Keep me posted! -Elder Daniels

Christmas‏

2009-12-28T10:56:00.000-08:00

Family! I'll make this one brief. Christmas was spent at the Decker residence. There we enjoyed an amazing feast, as well as the theatrical masterpiece Mulan, by the best movie I've seen all year. Not only that, but I got to talk to the fam! Everyone sounds healthy, and it seems the question I was asked the most was, "When are you coming home?" Here is the answer, written down, to add to all of your calanders: March 10 2010 Better get on requesting that day off! I've got a lot of video games to catch up on. It was great to talk to everyone! Sorry Heath couldn't make it, but we'll talk soon enough anyways. An update on the area: Things are finally starting to turn around. This is the week that will prove it! Between Mon. and Tues we have 5 appointments with partmember family. We only taught one nonmember last week T_T, so this is huge. We've also got some incredible referrals on the way, and all will be well in Modesto 8th Ward. Well, that about covers it. Keep the good people of Modesto 8th boundaries in your prayers -- they're the only ones under my stewardship. Take luck, -Elder Daniels PS - The movie Monsters vs. Aliens, portrayed in Modesto CA, looks nothing like Modesto CA according to the members here.

Ever and Always transfered the week before Christmas‏

2009-12-21T10:53:00.000-08:00

Family, The parents will be calling me at the Decker residence here in the Modesto 8th ward at precisely 3:00 PM my time, meaning 4:00 Mountain Standard Time. All are invited to attend, so get your plane tickets before Skywest sells out. The new area is very very interesting. We have about 5 investigators here, and were only able to visit 1 last week. Yep, it's pretty much dead. This last week was a huge member work push. I met a lot of very missionary minded people, and scraped together a few promising referrals to get us teaching again. Currently I'm in the process of color coding a ward directory, because the promise made to us by both Stake and Mission President is if we focus on the less actives, we will baptize. Keep me accountable on that one. Bursting through dark clouds, my one faint glimmering ray of hope here is the Spurlock family of 4, the Mom being a member. The Dad is apparently very interested in the church for his family, and the reason I haven't gotten to teach them yet is because Sister Spurlock is recovering from a surgery she just had. As soon as she bounces back they'll be ready to be taught. In the mean time you'll find us checking the valleys and the holes in the rocks for anyone we can find. A plus I discovered is that serving for so long here in Modesto has acquainted me with most of the members here in the ward already, so I have to deal with much much less critical first impressions. Other than that, not much else left to report. The Young Women of the 4th ward sent me off with a special musical presentation followed by towering gift basket, and someone else did a 12 days of Christmas thing for Elder Shepperd and I. Moving away from the Wasdens, the stake president of the Modesto Stake and family I was living with, was probably one of the hardest things I've had to do thus far on my mission. It was just like leaving home again. My new apartment, as filthy as it was, was just not quite as welcoming as the Wasden living room, complete with piano, Christmas decor, and all the calcium-enriched orange juice I could boost my immunity system with. Ha, I'm still happy to be where I am though. The new apartment is now clean and all is well. I'll get this area going again, or, the spirit will get it going through me I should say, and we'll have a merry Christmas yet! That's everything you get today! Stay classy, and look forward to the exciting Christmas episode of Elder Daniels' life as a missionary. -Elder Daniels

Transfer #16

2009-12-14T10:51:00.000-08:00

Family, Last year, Elder Sheppard, Elder Priego and I taught this amazing girl named Cierra. During our lesson, the spirit was great, and everything went well. I got the thought to commit her to baptism. Well, long story short, I didn’t. As we left, I looked at my 2 companions and said, “Wow, I really felt like I should have committed her to baptism, but I didn’t.” Elder Priego looks back at me and responds, “What? You too? I had the same thought?” to which Elder Sheppard responds, “No! I felt the exact same way!” We agreed at that time to commit her to baptism the next time we got in. We didn’t get back in. One year later, we made up for not listening to the spirit. Cierra moved back into our area. We invited her on a church tour, which she came on with two of her nonmember friends, and we were able to commit all of them to baptism. After setting 4 baptismal dates last week, of course transfer calls come in and I get moved. I can’t believe I’m so used to that by now. This transfer call was different. President called, and I figured they were releasing me to make me train. Well, it’s something like that. The situation I’m heading into is apparently enough to merit a call from President Gonzalez. I’ll be taking the deep plunge into the 8th ward, the most struggling area here in Modesto. They get an average of 0-2 member present lessons with investigators a week. Ouch. I’ve been pushing to have that area doubled out since I first got here. Looks like they’re sending me in personally to see if I can fix the situation. President Wasden, the Stake President, promised them 8 baptisms by the end of the year if they focus on the less actives, and a hundred next year if they do the same thing. You better believe that’s exactly what I’ll be doing. How do I feel about all this you ask? Well, to be honest, I’m pretty excited. I get to finish my mission off with practically no responsibilities and I get to make my hands completely dirty in a struggling area. This is great! My new companion is a big nerd, big meaning large in stature, so we’ll get along just fine. Wish me luck! I’ll let you know exactly what the situation is next week. -Elder Daniels

Stories that will make you feel good and say "awww." Cute.‏

2009-12-07T10:49:00.000-08:00

Come on little kiddies, on my lap. It's story time. While in the pursuit of a team-up to help us teach our recent convert Dora, Elder Shepperd and I decided that we would ditch the usual suspects and start by calling our less-actives and inactives here in the ward. Let me tell you, I got some hilarious results. I love treating the inactives like actives -- it's part of the pygmallion effect (but we'll talk about that another time). One guy we called was real funny. "Hey, we need you to help us teach. What are you doing tonight at 7?" I say. "No, not tonight." "All right, well we'll try you another night then!" "Well, you can try, but you won't succeed!" With big smiles, "All right, we will! Have a nice night! *click*" I love challenges. We plan on trying him again this week. A few failed attempts later, I try one last name -- the Dickerson family. "Hello, is this Bro. Dickerson?" "Umm... this is a Bro. Dickerson." "Oh? Who's this?" "Curtis." "(Not knowing who Curtis is)Curtis, how old are you?" "I'm 24." "Great! We're teaching a recent convert named Dora and we need your help. Can you meet us at the church around 8?" "Sure, why not?" The deal has been sealed. The time comes to meet Curtis at the church. We're waiting in our car, when our of nowhere, here comes Curtis, walking up in these very very nice shoes, the kind that cut your ankles if you walk long distances in them. "Hi Curtis! Where's your car?" "Oh, I just walked here from home." Curtis lives without comfortable walking distance. We find out he doesn't own a car, toss him in ours, take him to the lesson, he bears a powerful testimony, we invite him to church on the ride to his house, he accepts, he comes, he goes to family home evening the next day with the young single adult branch, he agrees to come with us on a church tour, feels the spirit seize him, volunteers to invite his nonmember foster sister and her boyfriend on a tour, and came to church again this Sunday. In summary, a miracle. Once fallen away from church for a decade, he's back in black, suits that is. Curtis proves to me that if you don't treat people like service projects, and look at them like the amazing people they are, they are amazing. We look forward to borrowing Curtis' powerful testimony again. Next, Jeanne, 82 year old, half paralyzed aquaphobic Jeanne, conqured her fears as she was lowered by her son and great-nephew into the waters of baptism. Absolutely the most spiritual baptism I've ever been a part of. These old ladies I've taught and seen baptized are an inspiration. Joan Meeks quits smoking after 73 years of doing it, Jeanne gets over a near-drowning experience and physical limitations to get to the church and be baptized, I have to hold everyone else to the standards they set. If they can do it, anyone can. There's the news for the week. Jeanne was baptized before her coming return to Abraham's Bosom (see bible dictionary), and all is well. We're now at 2 of our 4 baptisms we've committed to. Keep praying us on! We need it! -Elder Daniels

2009-11-30T12:14:00.001-08:00

We have a few great up and comers. Let me tell you about Eunita and Brandon who we have an appointment with tonight.Elder Shepperd and I tracted into Eunita by accident; we were actually looking for a part member family living next store. As soon as we told her what church we were from, Eunita lit right up. Apparently her mom and many of her sisters had previously converted and are living in scattered parts of Utah and Idaho. She then proceeded to tell us about her 12 year old grandson Brandon who “needs to be baptized!”Brandon is amazing. He’s been looking for a church that shares a certain belief of his, a belief obscure to most of the Christian world, for you see Brandon believes that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ are, in fact, not the same person. He believes them to be different, and his belief is so strong that Eunita’s caught on and disagrees with the trinity now too. I love it when people get that!Now I’m sure right now you’re all saying to yourselves, “Elder Daniels, that sounds like a golden contact. Why in the great name of Bungie software have you not baptized them yet?” Well let me tell you. Eunita has been very difficult to get an appointment with, seeing as how Brandon is a softball super star, but diligence always pays off as we will now be seeing them tonight.Other than that, we printed out a list of all the part-member and unbaptized children (9 and older), and we’re putting all our effort on contacting these low-hanging fruit. Sometimes the results are great, as with the Hillman family we’re now working with. Sometimes the results are not so great, as with the guy that answered his door in nothing but a towel, and threatened to drop it if we didn’t evacuate the premises. All in all, missionary work is still as unpredictable as ever.Jeanne will be baptized this Saturday, so please keep her in your prayers! To re-underline a point, she is 82 and this baptism is pending on her health being well enough to handle something like this. Her whole family, along with Elder Shepperd and I, have been praying and fasting for this for months, so we’ll see what happens come Saturday. -Elder Daniels

A quick note about Jeanne‏

2009-11-28T20:25:00.000-08:00

Jeanne, 82 years old, and paralyzed on the left side of her body, wants to be baptized and nothing is going to stop her. We've set a faith date of Dec. 5, trusting that her fluxuating health will be at a good peak at that time. Jeanne will mark the second baptism before the end of this year of our goal for 4 to reach 1000 by Dec. 31. Updates when they come. Now then, I'm off to Wal-Mart. Ta-ta! -Elder Daniels

Warmth for the Holidays

2009-11-16T11:50:00.001-08:00

Here’s the story: Two weeks ago, a city-owned house that sits alone in the bottom of the dry creek was raided by Modesto PD 2 weeks ago. Over 1 million dollars worth of Marijuana was discovered growing inside. 1 week ago, Elder Hansen’s last day in the mission, we were driving home at 8:50 PM when we saw some holiday glow coming out of the dry creek. Here are the pictures. This week was really good. We got 10 member present lessons and contacted a lot of promising former investigators. 2 YSA girls are really interested in taking the church tour, and we also got to teach a quadriplegic man down who wants to quit smoking. Tim, who felt the spirit so strongly when we watched “The Restoration” with him, who commented, “I love this movie,” decided that there is too much going on his in life to be baptized right now. He promises he’ll come to church again sometime. It was pretty much a stab to the heart, but people do have their ability to choose. The whole ordeal inspired me to write my next creative work entitled “Agency, and How to Enforce it” In order to reach our goal for 1000 baptisms this year, everyone in the mission has committed to baptized 4 people by the end of the year. I’ve got 3 left, so keep cheering me on. Sorry to cut this one short, but Elder Daniels was super popular this week and got a ton of emails (mainly replies to dad’s Christmas Calendar deal – a hilarious read). Stay amazing, St. George. -Elder Daniels

Not Much

2009-10-12T11:04:00.000-07:00

I decided to send out a ton of little emails vs. the impersonal bulk email, so check your mailboxes and tell Elder Daniels "Hey" sometime this week. And if your name is Heath, Ryan, or Dalan, get to replying to the letter I just sent you. And if you happen to be Guy, Gus, Matt, Jeff, or the rest, get to replying to the letters I sent you last year.

Many <3's, Elder Daniels

The greatest president... in the world!

2009-10-11T19:31:00.000-07:00

Family!

This week in my email I happened to find a letter entitled "A call to repent" sent to me by my mission president. I'm cutting and pasting it for all of you to see what a hilarious guy President Gonzalez is. Before I do, just know each Sunday we're to write and send a letter to the mission president talking about our week, how we did at progressing investigators to baptism, work we did with less actives and recent converts, how our study is going, and so forth. The past 6 weeks I've been a little relaxed when it's come to that letter. And now, without further ado, I present to you "A Call to Repent."

______________________________

______________________________

"Elder,

I finished reading all the missionary weekly reports covering the week of September 21 to September 27 this on Friday. I felt I had a good feeling for the effort that’s going on in the mission. However, I felt I was missing something and I couldn’t put my finger on it (quite literally!) I’m wondering if you could help me figure out what it was that I was missing….. could it be…. YOUR WEEKLY REPORT??

This is an e-mail to call you to repentance and to ask if you would get your weekly report in this week. Will you do that? I want you to know that I do read your reports and I look forward to reading them each week.

I appreciate everything you’re doing. Please keep up the great work!

Pres. Gonzalez

PS – if you already sent your weekly report in and you feel this call to repent is unwarranted, then please save this e-mail and consider it a future call to repent when you forget. "

____________________________________________________________

Way funny! I probably got the greatest mission president anyone could ask for. He never chews us out, beats us up, or judges us in any way. Everything he does is with a sense of humor, but also with urgency and seriousness so if you are failing to perform you will feel not President Gonzalez but the spirit correct you. Needless to say, I'll be writing my letter today.

Next, on a random note: I found a cat with syliac's disease. Seriously, its a cat with an intolerance for gluten. Mom and Troy can now rest assured that in the California Fresno Mission there is a cat that understands exactly how they feel.

So, about the work. This week in our area was incredible. We had a miracle where a wife invited her nonmember husband on a church tour. This husband had never so much stepped foot in a mormon church before, and was definitely less than enthusiastic about his wife's membership, but when she called to invite him he said yes, much to her shock. The spirit was strong during the whole tour, tears occasionally making the scene, until we finally sat down in front of the baptismal font, explained the restoration, and committed him to be baptized. He accepted. We're excited to see the dynamics in their marriage change as a result.

Two weeks ago you may have heard me complaining about the heat in Fresno. Now, without warning or gradual descent into Fall, the weather has completely taken a turn for the worse and winter is now in FULL effect. Holy cow! It's so cold! It dropped from the 90's to the 60's with no time to enjoy the middle ground! Why I get put up in the coldest part of the mission for the winter is a question I asked last winter to. Come to think of it, I spent both my summers in the south and hottest parts of the mission as well. Huh. Maybe there's a hidden message to all of this.

Well, I've got to get going and repent. Today will be an exciting day full of sweater shopping and possibly glove shopping if I can't find what I did with last winter's pair. Hope all is well, and I'll hear from you all next week.

-Elder Daniels

Fun facts about Modesto California‏

2009-09-28T10:54:00.000-07:00

Family, This first week back in Modesto has been great. Modesto is the greatest city in the mission, and here are some fun facts to support that claim: 1) This is the home town where George Lucas grew up that inspired the movies he made, such as Star Wars, American Graphiti, and THX1138, which all have the theme of someone being trapped in somewhere they don't want to be so they run away, like Luke Skywalker being stuck on Tatooine. Apparently George wasn't too fond of Modesto. 2) Modesto is the stolen car capital of the world. More cars are stolen here per capita than any other city. Period. 3) Modesto is colorful. Blindingly colorful. Like a crazy story per day colorful. One example -- Last Saturday we had a baptism, and right in the middle of it someone walks in off the street and heads straight for the bathroom, which I might add is connected with the baptismal font and has great acoustics. As Elder Hansen and Tyler headed into the baptismal font, and as we all sat reverently, the following echoed moans filled the room: "UuuuuuuUUUUUuuUUUuuuUUUugggghhhhhhhh. UuuuUUuuUUuuuUuuuuuuuuhhhhh." Bishop got right on it. Way funny. The church tours are very established here and my companion Elder Hansen is a champ. This transfer will consist of him cloning himself into me so I can keep the tours going. He goes home at the end. The last person I was with that went home was my trainer, so this will be new again. Hmmm... Not much else is new. We have a great set up where we live with the stake president -- can you do better than that as a zone leader? We play dodgeball every Monday here and the library here is animalistic. We have to be here half an hour early just to grab a computer. Hope everyone is enjoying Halo 3: ODST, and I will catch you all next week.

Where a pirate's favorite place to eat is and other exciting news‏

2009-09-21T15:48:00.000-07:00

Arrrrby's. On a side note, Arby's charged me 10$ for a combo and a shake. Now that's piracy. And now, for the moment you've all been waiting for. It's ta-ta-ta-transfer calls! Any guesses who Elder Daniels' new companion is? ......................................................................................................Is he being released as a zone leader?......................................................................................................Or does he sit proudly on his throne as zone-wide baby-sitter?......................................................................................................The verdict is in: Elder Daniels is going to... Modesto stake! To live with the illustrious President Wasdon as zone leader in a zone already well established in doing church tours! Now for the exciting part, who is Elder Daniels' new companero? This may shock you, so I'm going to allow for those with weak stomachs to leave the room. ...................................................................................................... Are they gone yet? My new companion is: Elder Hansen? Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha! Yes! As faithful readers of the weekly Elder Daniels news letter know, Elder Hansen and Elder Daniels were companions during Elder Daniels' third transfer and last transfer as a junior companion, and was Elder Daniels favorite companion thus far. Those two didn't have a single companionship inventory the entire transfer if that's telling you anything. Elder Daniels is surprised, shocked, tickled and excited about this news. Seriously though, this is crazyness. Rarely do you ever get with a companion twice, and rarely, if ever, is it one you liked. I don't know what I did to make President Gonzalez this happy with me, but I won't ask questions. Sad news though, this will be Elder Hansen's last transfer assuming he doesn't extend. He's been a zone leader for a year now. Yikes. I'm only coming up on 7 1/2 months, and I'm already tired. So anyways, I'll be the one that see's him home, and I'll be taking advantage of every opportunity to soak up as much of his missionary wisdom as I can, so I'll be taking the Cortana role as the a.i. that observes, occasionally making witty commentary, while masterchief does his thing. Sad to leave Elder Wilson though. This transfer has been one of the fastest in my mission. He was great -- very funny. Reminded me of Heath with his comments and blonde hair. So long Elder Wilson. Final story: Guess how Elder Daniels found out he was allergic to lentils? That's right! At dinner with a member! Ha ha, that was an exciting night, with Elder Wilson trying to cover up the barfing noises coming from me in their bathroom by saying I had a cold. I love discovering things I'm allergic to. Now, a question for the family: Was I allergic to almonds when I came out? because I'm not any more. Long story. Let me know next week! Ciao! -Elder Daniels

Another week, another baptism

2009-09-14T14:36:00.001-07:00

I love baptisms. They are so great. Having a baptism is the closest thing I can get to playing Super Smash Bros. Brawl in terms of quality enjoyment. Ana's mom, Sister Morales, I may have failed to mention is an expert cake maker/baker. She owned a bakery in Canada, and loves to cook. Every lesson we've had with her and her sister has always been polished off with some confectionary masterpiece, all leading up to the baptismal big one: Tres Leches. Yes, you read correctly --three milk. Dylan knows what I'm talking about. Sadly, we're turning the Morales sisters over to the ward to handle the New Member Lessons, meaning no more of Sis. Morales's amazing cooking. It's almost a shame that they have to get baptized... oh well. That'll be my incentive to find another Guatemalan family to teach. On to Ben. Have I described Ben to you all yet? Ben is a big burly hilarious semi-hispanic guy (mainly just the skin tone) who married a member and has been investigating the church for years. His church attendance during that time is enough to put some members to shame, and he's always the first one on service assignments rallying everyone else to sign up. He knows lyrics to tons of primary hymns. In essence, he's a member to the core; he just doesn't want to take the plunge (finally, an opportunity to use a semicolon correctly!). Most of the friends he hangs out with are members, and he even wrote a song to the music "follow the profit" about one of them: Debby Buh-roe-ni! Debby Buh-roe-ni! Don't go astray! Anyhew, after many missionaries, Elder Kramer and Elder Wilson were finally able to get him to pray about getting baptized. He calls them back in July and says, "Elders! I got one! I prayed and came up with a date!" How exciting is that? The date: Dec. 9, 2009, his wedding anniversary, the reasoning being that he wants to be sealed to his wife on that day. Romantic, yes. Am I impatient? Yes. So Ben and his wife just had their 3rd baby, and I was so hoping that would spur up some plan of salvation feelings and get him to push the date forward. Nothing yet, but we have faith. He'll get baptized, the only question is when. Transfer calls is this Saturday, so come ready next week for the exciting conclusion of Elder Daniels' 13th transfer. -Elder Daniels

"Excuse me, do you go to a church around here?"

2009-09-08T21:22:00.001-07:00

"Oh no, I'm Catholic." Best response I've ever gotten to that question. Family! To start, a question: How much does a smart car cost? First one to answer wins the blessings of having a missionary in the field. Next, let me give you the scoop on where we're at in the Fresno Zone, but before I can do that, let me rewind time 3 transfers. 3 transfers ago, I, Elder Devin Daniels, was serving in the Hanford zone, while one of my best missionary friends Elder Hanswer was serving in the Modesto zone. We caught wind of this "secret project" they had going on up there, so naturally I couldn't help going to the source for answers. All I got were "all will be revealed soon" type of responses. That prophecy has been fulfilled. __________________________All has been revealed. Modesto was the chosen zone of a certain experiment here in the mission. As a result, it was practically quarentined from the rest of the mission. Noone went in or out of Modesto zone for 3 transfers. That's 18 weeks with the same companion. Yikes. To be brief, the experiment was a success, and now President Gonzales is, like ivy, allowing it to creep into other parts of the mission very sneakily to see if it's a fluke or not. 2 zones were chosen, and ours is one of them. You're probably wondering to yourself, what kind of mad experiment could missionaries do? Well I'll tell you. The experiment: church tours. To call what we do a church tour would be a misnomer. If that last sentence sounded smart, it should, because I ripped it off from the packet they have us studying. Basically, what it is is an engaging way to teach the first lesson through the church artwork, chapel, and ultimately ending up in the relief society room in front of the baptismal font with doors wide open and committing someone to baptism. Very powerful. This tour may not seem like much, but Modesto zone has tripled it's baptisms. That a big 3X. We expect nothing less for Fresno North zone. Unfortunately it took 3 transfers for that tripling to take place, so we're in the baby stages right now of practice makes perfect. Stage 1) practice alone until we cry. Stage 2) practice with members so they'll give us referrals for when we get the green light to do it with investigators. Stage 3) tour with real investigators. Stage 4) baptize. Stage 5) have great joy with converts in heaven. Stage 5 won't occur until after I'm happily married to the Orbit gum girl making 6 figures as Microsoft's lead game tester. So now, what I've revealed to you all is very hush hush, and you have to promise not to tell any of the missionaries here in the California Fresno Mission besides the missionaries serving in the Modesto, Fresno, or Fresno North zones. Deal? Deal. To close, a picture. Here in the raisin capital of the world, I have never so much as been gifted one single raisin. The closest I've ever gotten to that was working in the church vineyard. Out contacting, we received a special gift. I believe the picture can speak for itself. Bidding you all much love, -Elder Daniels

Here's a miracle

2009-08-31T11:36:00.000-07:00

5 days before his baptism, Gage was admitted into the hospital for Pancreatitus. Doctors told him he'd been in there for a week. Oh ho, not so Mr. Scientist. Not while the Elders of Israel are around. We jumped into our mormon mobile and speed racer'd all the way to the hospital wielding our viles and priesthood power. Gage received a blessing, and that was that. The next day, his lipase and amalase levels dropped from 800 to normal levels between 50-100 in one day. Gage shared with us that another girl with his same problem but less serious took a week to detox, but as soon as she got home, her levels of amalase and lipase shot back up again. Gage was home and stayed home, and not only that, was baptized, and I've never seen a relief society room more packed. Hmmm... 12 minutes left...what to tell my family and friends with nothing better to do than read the blog Angie made for me... Our next baptism is scheduled for the 12, so pray for Ana to hold strong. Our ward mission leader in Heritage (the YSA) is Guy Smith embodied in a 31 year old. He's the 2nd funniest WML I've had since Bro. Haroldson in Selma, and he gets stuff done. We went grape picking Saturday while the church news staff shot pictures, so be sure to watch for your favorite servant of the lord in the next copy! Finally, a haiku. Haiku is first 5then it is seven and backto 5 syllables Look for the deeper meaning in all of that. Thank you family. More exciting news to come next week. -E. Daniels

Different areas = different strengths and challenges‏

2009-08-24T16:29:00.000-07:00

Family, Let me begin by describing the strengths of the Heritage ward. We have returned missionaries that actually know how and want to do missionary work! Hallelujah! -AND- They know how to teach the New Member Lessons and actually do it! What a blessing. YSA's are so great to serve in. Yes, it is wierd being around people my same age again, but the work is just incredible. We've got 3 sure-bet baptisms to reap and they all really just fell into our hands. Amazing, however, I did run into a unique problem the other day. We've been teaching this guy Marcos at this girl Melissa Pearce's home, who is moving to St. George, well, moved to St. George yesterday. Natural impulse was to reach into my pocket and divey out my card to her, but luckily common sense caught up with me. To avoid the appearance of evil, looks like I'll be keeping my cards away from the common public of heritage ward, a unique situation to say the least. Now, on to Gage. Did I mention last week how Gage was found? Missionaries were calling to confirm a dinner appointment, and accidentally dailed Gage's number. Here's an overly watered down version of the conversation: "Hey, can we still come over for dinner tomorrow?" "No, but you can come teach me the Gospel." And thus Gage became a new investigator. That is a miracle. So Gage is scheduled to be baptized this Sunday! But then we got the call this morning that every missionary dreads. Yes, you guessed it, the "I came down with pancreatitus and am in urgent care in the hospital for 5-7 days." I hate that call! Arg! Pray for Gage. I really feel for the guy -- I hear Panreatitus is more painful than trying to get a Sikh in Selma to accept a return appointment. Anyhew, there's my time. Hope everyone's summer is as great as mine's been here in fresno. It's been in the high 80's all week. So nice. Now go throw a Book of Mormon at your neighbors. -Elder Daniels

Last minute miracles. Shucks.‏

2009-08-18T08:26:00.001-07:00

So get this. The day before I transfer, I get the impression that we need to see Arnold. It was a dicey choice – usually when we see him we get caught for at least a half hour and we only had 10 minutes before our dinner appointment, but I figured I’d just manhandle the conversation. So there we go, off to Arnold’s. Arnold walks out and tells us what I’ve wanted to hear since the moment I first came on my mission, and what no missionary ever wants to hear the day before transfers: “Hey guys, we were just talking about you, that is so funny. Sissy wants a little more time to learn, but I’m ready, and I want to be baptized as soon as possible.” Yep. Arnold is amazing. If all went well, he was baptized Saturday. Wish I could have been there. Dearest family, I am walking away from 5 people who have expressly stated that they want to be baptized, and who are going to be baptized within the month. Good thing for Elder Frances, the missionary taking my spot, that I sure do love to share. On to Fresno. Fresno is the raisin capital of the world. I finally made it. At first I’d had my reservations about coming here after hearing about all the crime, gangs, hobo’s, etc., but after seeing my new area, I’m thoroughly convinced I won’t be held up by any Bull Dogs anytime soon. Fresno North stake has some of the riches wards in the mission. Our own ward is saturated with palaces that the member’s call their home, and I’m just waiting for the dinner appointment where I will be fed lobster and caviar. Fresno North has a different feel to it. Its a different kind of work all together. The YSA is great! Returned missionaries are practically doing the work for us. My first mission coordination meeting I hear from one ward missionary, “Hey guys, my friend says he wants to be baptized in two months. Is that cool?” Yes ward missionary man, that is more than cool. In short, life is good. And to be brief, I’m out of time, so I expect many comments back from you. Hope all is well in Zion. I’ll talk to you next week.

A shimmering ray. (Don't you love it when rays shimmer?)

2009-08-10T08:24:00.000-07:00

Last time, on Dragon Ball Z: Arnold and Sissy had committed to come to church this Sunday, but the Elders weren't letting up their guard. Meanwhile, a drunk lady made the Elders sit down and listen to her rant for an hour and a half, but luckily they were able to make it in by curfew. All the while transfer calls were burning on the horizon. Don't miss an exciting minute of today's episode. *Dun nuh nuh nuh, nuh nuh nuh duh duh duh duh!* Thanks for that. Family! Arnold, Sissy, and their house-mate Aubry all made it to church this Sunday! This step is HUGE for Sissy. She's gone from jumping across the couch to prevent their son from physically touching the Book of Mormon to embracing the relief society and signing up to do a women's retreat with them. Things couldn't be better for their family spiritually. Arnold is still struggling with the whole double-vision thing. The doctors are veeerrry slow at telling him what's up, and since he's a truck driver he's really stuck until it gets fixed. The company he works for doesn't pay into disability so his family has really been hurting financially, and his wife Sissy's medical insurance is about to expire. Funny story - they were taking months to let Arnold know whats up, and after he told them his insurance was about to expire, they got him tested the next day. Money: It talks. So where have Elder Cook and myself been during all of this? Oh, only on the prowl for as much food as we can scrounge up. The ward has been very generous at giving us things to take over, and Elder Eager(Hanford 2nd ward Elder) has a dad that shows him love by sending him packages--Lots of packages-- so he gave us like a creight load of spaghettio's and 4 huge cans of dried fruit. Long story short, charity can get people to church. Saturday night was beautiful. I'll be transferring to the Fresno North Zone to be with Elder Wilson and zone lead up there. Elder Wilson is a missionary who has been tried by fire. My former comp Elder Hansen called him the most underrated missionary in the whole mission. He's awesome, and I can't wait to be with him. I've made a goal to make positive reinforcement a habbit in my life with this one. We'll see how it goes. Oh hey, Ally hasn't talked to her Dad yet. :( Baptism averted...for now. Anyhew, Fresno has always been a mysterious place to me, but I look forward to the street cred I'll gain when I convert the whole sindicate of Bull Dogs in my area. Fresno -- The Raisin Capital of the World. Who wouldn't be excited? Well, I'm off to shop and buy my new companion some shirt stays. What are shirt stays you ask? You'll just have to find out when I get home. You stay classy San Diego. -Elder Daniels

I'm a missionary and that's ok - I sleep all night and I work all day‏

2009-07-31T12:33:00.000-07:00

Today is the grand day of our Zone Activity *applause*. Yes, it is that exciting. Once a transfer now, we as zone leaders get to orchestrate said activities and can do what ever our hearts desire (barring the part of my heart yearning for Halo 3: ODST). Initially my original thought for a zone activity would be writing letters home to our families, but we already do that. Why mess with what works? But when push comes to shove, everyone wanted to actually get up and do something, so we came to wiffle baseball. Yes, wiffle basball. I see that you're intrigued, and jealous. I would be to. Don't worry, friends, I'm sure they'll come out with a game in it's likeness on the wii soon enough for all to enjoy. I'll take pictures and send some home next week if anyone reminds me. In other news, Birthday #2 has now been checked off the mission list for me. I was able to use that card to attempt to get people to church, and now I'll never get to use it again. "Hey, it's my birthday on Sunday. Come to church or you're a monster." Didn't work so well, but we did get 5 people there. Not a bad week. I loved the package, parents -- Zebra Cakes and Visa gift cards are what I'm all about now. And, get this, there is talk on the wind of another package I'll be getting at this zone activity, so here is a pre-emptive THANKS! to whoever sent it. *ahem* "THANK YA MUCHO!" Also, thanks to Troy who sent me an email with "Happy Birthday" and "no msg content...hahaha" in the subject line, a promise which unfolded to be true. One of the best presents I got was a visit from Pres. and Sis. Gonzalez to our ward here in Hanford 1st. Man oh man, if those talks don't drum up a referral or two, nothing will. It was crazy seeing Pres. Gonzalez stand next to our former mission president Bishop Berrett. It got me thinking - When is Dylan going to be called as a mission president? And what obscure Spanish speaking country are they going to tuck him away in? And on a scale of 8-10, just how much does Regi love Cabesa Tacos? Answers to manifest themselves in time. Another gift I'll never forget came from a guy we're teaching named Adolfo. Adolfo has made some mistakes in his life and his family has left him for it. He came to us absolutely devastated. We sent him to repent, and have been teaching him away from his family ever since. Lesson by lesson, you could see his countenance evolve from dank and dreary, to mild, to ok, to beaming. It was crazy. After teaching him about the word of wisdom, he shared an amazing testimony on it. He then added, "when you guys go home, and when you're all finished with this, I want you to know for sure that you at least changed one life." As a missionary, you know you change lives, but it's different actually hearing it come from someone. Those are the comments that make every jerk on the streets worth it. Well, that's my exciting life and there'll be plenty more of it for you to read about next week. In the mean time, go to church, read your scriptures, and pray so that you can receive the holy spirit of revelation for deciding when you'll send me my next package. Yours truly, Elder Daniels

6 days: (noun) plenty of time to get a package in the mail.‏

2009-07-21T21:19:00.001-07:00

Familia, A church story. Yesterday the speaker was Sister Kerr. Sister Kerr is a super neat lady that occasionally brings us Boston Pizza brand salads which are loaded with grilled chicken so I love them. In honor of Pioneer Day, her talk was on, of course, Pioneer Day. Growing up, she loved Pioneer Day because that's the day she was born, and she loved thinking the Pioneer Day fireworks were actually people celebrating her birthday. That's one way to look at a birthday near pioneer day. Now for my point of view. Now, I'm not complaining or anything, but all I remember is passing out RSVP's for my birthday parties, and having half of them come back saying, "Sorry, our family is going out of town for Pioneer Day. Happy Birthday!" That played a huge role in the process of filtering out my true friends. I will now take the opportunity to publicly thank Dalan, Sean, Ryan, Heath, Guy, and Matt* for making me feel greater than a pioneer. *If your name was not on that list and you feel it should be, then you need to write me more. That means you, Jeff. A dream story. The other week I had this crazy dream. Does anyone remember me writing home about Jamica, our 6'6" female investigator? Well, she moved to Bakersfield about a month after I got here and has been gone since March. Anyways, I had this dream where I was walking through this stone temple, doing my thing, when I turn a corner and there she is. "Whoa! You're back?" Yep, it was her. I remember thinking now that's crazy. Anyways, my dreams aren't normally that boring, and neither was this one. She turned out to be a mummy and, long story short, the battle was not in my favor, but I got away in the end. The next day we decided to go see her and her aunt tells us that she was on her way home. Yep. I've joined the ranks of my Indian brethren and their premonitious dreams. Feel free to email me back how cool I am. That's pretty much my exciting week. We committed Jamica to be baptized the 31st, Jennifer's baptism which should have been yesterday is now rescheduled for Aug. 27th due to some members in Colorodo asking her questions like "What is your perception of the Atonement?" and making her feel unready, and life is life. 6 days and I will be a new man. We will discuss more later. -Elder Daniels

The 4th of July, 1 of 3 missionary vacation days.

2009-07-06T12:00:00.000-07:00

You heard me correct-- missionaries actually do get a slight vacation every now and then. This 4th was great. Not only did I beat the heat by enjoying the air conditioning of our 2009 Toyota Carolla, we had a 2 hour meeting with our district leaders, a dinner with members, a few lessons and new investigators that got us out of the heat, and then we're told to duck in right at 7:00, because being a missionary on the 4th of July is like having a huge target on your back for bottle rockets and other such explosives. I'm not going to lie, that extra 2 hours was nice. I got most of my preparation day cleaning done, so I'll be reaping the rewards today. Why does it only come once a year? Next vacation days: Halloween (in by 6) and New Years Eve (also 6).

What next... hmmm... I suppose I could tell you were throwing a party for dad on his birthday by baptizing one of our investigators named Jennifer. She's been ripe for this ever since she referred herself to us. She knows so much about the church it's gotten to the point where she's bought her own preach my gospel to learn more. Yeah, we really had our work cut out for us with that one.

Does anyone remember me talking about an old investigator we had here named Alex? Well, he's about 15 and he came out in one lesson saying he wants to be baptized. What ended up happening was a few missed appointments and just loss of interest, so we dropped him. 2 months later which was yesterday, we get a call from him wanting to set up an appointment. How cool is that?

Arnold is amazing. Have I mentioned Arnold yet? He knows so much about the Bible it's ridiculous. When he was becoming a Christian he researched the heck out of the Bible before he'd start to believe it. Then he moved on to every religion. He knows ours is the only true church, and he's got that testimony logically and spiritually. I learn something about our church every time I go over there. We're just working to get him to the point where he'll get baptized and his family will accept him still. Slowly we're progressing meeting with them here and there. I'll keep you posted.

Anyhew, I'm out of time. Thanks for all the letters, especially from those heroes of my life that I rarely get to hear from. Keep reading your scriptures and going to church yall.

-Elder Daniels

Transfer Calls #11

2009-06-29T14:21:00.000-07:00

Yes, it's that time again. This marks my passage from the 11th into the 12th transfer of my mission. I, Elder Daniels, will be staying here in Hanford as the Hanford zone leader, making my stay here the longest of any area I've served in my mission thus far. Elder Cook will continue to be my companion. Everyone else in the zone is switching around, and we're gaining a new companionship, so transfers will be... interesting. Basically we have to ensure every missionary has a ride and makes it wherever they're going. If they're too lazy to find a ride, we have to figure things out. It's a headache. Ha, I remember at the first of my mission, not being able to find a ride from the far north of the mission down to the far south, a 3 hour trip, and freaking out about it. Times change.

Next order of business:

/\/\/\/\/\~-~-~Count down to Elder Daniels B-Day~-~-~/\/\/\/\/\

____ _____
/ /
/ /
/___| / Days (could I get somebody to Flash up this 27 into a counter?)

I've already begun slyly hinting to key members that it's coming up, ones I can trust will tell other people until the entire ward knows and my 21 becomes the best July 26th of my life. Did I mention President Gonzalez is giving me a surprise birthday present by speaking at church here on the 26th? Yep, yep, I'm pretty cool all right. We may even have a baptism that day too, just like last year. Good stuff.

Anyhew, I'm pretty bored, so I'm going to wrap this one up with a list of my companions of the past year. Hope all is well. Tell me what you've all got planned for the 4th.

-Elder Daniels

1. Elder Christensen (home)
2. Elder Davis (home as of this Wednesday)
3. Elder Hansen (zone leader)
4. Elder Stevens (office assistant)
5. Elder Lackley (home - back surgery)
6. Elder Swane (no idea)
7. Elder Sheppard (senior companion)
8. Elder Priego (zone leader)
9. Elder Zelaya (home as of this Wednesday)
10. Elder Cook (zone leader)

Father's Day: Good for church attendance, bad for appointments

2009-06-29T14:20:00.000-07:00

Family,

7! 7 investigators at church! Ah ah ah!

I've never seen so many people I've committed to come at church before! Jennifer, our golden who works on Sunday's, made it during her lunch break. The Rayna's, a part-member family we're teaching, seemed to wake up to a sense of their duty to come to church with Sister Rayna's brain surgery. The Durans, parents of a member, we're able to overcome their fears of forsaking la iglesia Catolico and made it out. And Magali, the girl that's getting baptized this Saturday, made it and stayed for all 3 hours. Good stuff.

So naturally we left church on a success high, hitting the streets with the highest hopes for even more triumph. It was about 6 missed appointments later that we realized Father's Day is a pendulum that swings both ways.

In other news, I now hate pendulums.

Last week was our quarterly temple trip. Always a good time. I've always wondered if the designs in the celestial room are symbolic or not, and I say that freely because you can see pictures of celestial rooms in the temple magazine, so there. My comp asked the temple president's wife if there was any meaning behind it, and she said they just look pretty. I'm not so sure if I believe that. If anyone knows anything, let's go to the temple when I get back and discuss!

To end, a question:

In the plan of salvation their are 3 kindgdoms of glory: A celestial kingdom, a terrestrial kingdom, and a telestial kingdom.

We know we want to get to the Celestial Kingdom, because that is where Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ live. That's also the only kingdom where we can live as families forever, as explained in DC (the same sociality that exists here will exist only in the celestial kingdom).

My question is: If the celestial kingdom is the only place where we can live together as families forever, what's to stop people in the other kingdoms from just "hanging out" as families?

Let me know your thoughts!

-Elder Daniels

It's always such a nice feeling to walk into church and have someone tell you they want to be baptized.

2009-06-29T14:18:00.000-07:00

It really is. Her name is Magali, and we found her sitting on the couch, waiting with her husband Manuel, who's a member. She was just about to get baptized in Mexico when they moved here to Hanford. Now it's up to us to finish the job. I can do that. Our first lesson is tonight, and we're planning on setting a date for the end of this month. I do believe a woot is in order. Woot.

Next order of business. My eye has been twitching a lot lately. Have any of you tried to preach the gospel with a twitchy eye? It's just not as powerful. Any advice?

Well, I really don't have too much to write. We've got a meeting in Fresno we get to drive up to today. That should be fun. For some strange reason, I get the feeling a mass zone leader chastisement coming on. Tune in next week to find out!

-Elder Daniels

Here's a list of the foods I've thrived on during my mission:

Transfer 1 [Sonora]) Frog-eye in the middle (Thank you David Mizukawa)
Transfer 2 [Sonora]) Ham and Egg sandwiches
Transfer 3 [Tulare]) Potatos and French Toast
Transfer 4 [Selma]) Ham and Cheese Quesodillas
Transfer 5 [Selma]) Breakfast Burritos
Transfer 6 [Selma]) Whatever I could make with eggs (We found the member with the chickens)
Transfer 7 [Modesto]) Various soups
Transfer 8 [Modesto]) Deli-style sandwiches
Transfer 9 [Hanford]) Chicken (strip) quesodillas
Transfer 10 [Hanford]) Chicken sandwiches
Transfer 11 [Hanford]) Chicken (tenderloin) quesodillas & mini-nachos.

How exciting it is to see my taste evolve.

Can you give me the gospel too?

2009-06-29T14:17:00.000-07:00

The other day as my companion and I were following up with a few investigators, we noticed our recent convert Devin's 8-yr-old daughter Mazzy playing with her 5-yr-old neighbor.

"HEY!" Mazzie yelled from across the street. "WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING?"

"We're sharing the gospel with your neighbors!"

"WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT?"

"Because everybody needs the gospel!"

"OH! WHAT ABOUT MY PARENTS?"

"We're coming over Tuesday!"

"OH! ALL RIGHT!"

So we continue on, knock on Ignacio's door, and he's not home. We turn around and walk next door to Alberto's house. Right before we knock, we here another

"HEY!"

This time it's Mazzy's little friend.

"CAN YOU GIVE ME THE GOSPEL TOO?"

Why can't I have more street contacts like that?

Family! We just had zone conference, and yes, it was awesome. President talked about the two components that make up trust, which are 1) Character, and 2) Competence. You can break it down even father like this:

Competence:
-Capability
-Results

Character:
-Integrity
-Intent

If you have trust in someone, you have trust in all 4 of those subcategories. If you don't, then something is lacking. You could ask around for a doctor, for example, and you find Dr. Green. Everyone trusts Dr. Green, he's the most honest guy in town. He'd give you the shirt off his back if you needed it. You go to get checked out, and you find out he barely passed medical school, most of his patients die early, he's a really nice guy but he's all thumbs with a scalpal. Why don't you trust him with your health?

The next guy you look up is Dr. Brown. Dr. Brown is an expert doctor, rated top ten in the US for exactly what it is you're seeing the doctor about. All of his patients live and live long. But then you find out he cheated on his tests, he cheats on his wife, he cheats on anything and everything that isn't himself. You're not even sure if he's going to charge you what he estimates. Why don't you trust him?

I thought it was really interesting when Pres. used this analogy. We're focussed on gaining the trust of the members to get referrals and teach their friends and family. So you have to look at yourself, inside or outside of gospel related principles, and find out where you're lacking. Is it my character or my competence? They hone in and fix it. I'm a nice guy, but I'm not getting people to church! Or, I'm getting people to church, but insulting the members for not doing it for me! I wonder where I'm at with Hanford 1st ward. We'll see.

Besides zone conference, we've been teaching and preaching and having all sorts of success. Jennifer, our investigator that just can't come to church because of a tight schedule she's locked into at work, didn't get the schedule change she needs. So we talked to the wc about it and we brainstormed ideas to get her to church during her lunch break. It's worth a shot! All we need is 2 sacraments and she's good to go. She's already got the testimony, she believes in the Book of Mormon, she studies out of Preach my Gospel for crying out loud. She's so ready! When it happens, I'll let you know.

Last but not least, does anyone know what it takes to be a pharmacist?

That is my email. Good day.

-Elder D

Another new month? My calendars will be useless in no time.

2009-06-29T14:12:00.000-07:00

Family,

This week was finding finding finding. We found 8 new investigators, more than half of which speak spanish. My comp is pretty good at getting into their houses to teach a lesson. So now we've got a nice saturated teaching pool to work on. The fun part is guessing which one's will go somewhere while simultaneously having faith that they all will. It's a game!

Yesterday (Sunday) brought a nice surprise. It seems like Sunday's always bring such nice surprises. This week's surprise went a little bit like this. *ring* "Hello?" "Surprise! You've got sharing time this week! Figure out how to teach kids from age 2 - 11 how to recognize the Holy Ghost in under 20 minutes!" *click* "I love surprises." Ha, the challenge was awesome. I threw something together last minute involving fruit trees and what fruit the spirit gives as well as a sweet analogy using my watch and asserting my influence over the crowd to make them talk real loud then be super quite. There's no adrenalyn rush like a last-minute lesson. How sad - I love teaching primary. I'm doomed when I hit a family ward.

Oh hey, I might add we're at the Hanford Public Library, and the kid next to me keeps looking over at me. I'm concerned, and thought you should all be to.

Oh man, let me tell you about the first open-opposition I've ever had during a lesson. Picture this sweet little 11 year old girl walk into our appointment wearing hamtaro socks and walking her cute little dachsun. Now picture her with flames in the eyes of both her, her little dog, and her hamtaro socks. That's what happened. The word of the day was flabbergasted. My gosh. She kept saying things like, "How can you know that?" "I like hearing your opinion (with emphasis on opinion)." "Yeah right, like God's going to come up through the floor and answer one of my prayers. Ha ha ha." I felt really bad for her. My companion bold-faced testified her into the ground, but she was a fighter. It was mostly in Spanish, so I wish I could say I helped out, but Elder Cook did a good job at keeping his cool and saying the only things he could say. Isn't it amazing, though, how Satan can work through the lower intelligences like that? It's either a cat that goes crazy, a phone call, or some manic dog across the street that won't stop barking during the most important part of the lesson. One lesson we had with Jackie and Francisco was ridiculous. Some little girl outside was yelling at the top of her lungs FOR NO REASON while we were praying as a group for them to know the Book of Mormon's true. I almost laughed out loud.

Anyhew, that's my crazy life and I'm sticking to it. If you find yourself with any extra time or letters addressed to me for some reason, feel free to send them to 1814 N Echo Ave. Fresno CA 93704.

Think of me when you stick that final plasma grenade in Big Team Slayer.

-Elder Daniels

/\/\/\/\/\‏

2009-05-26T12:53:00.001-07:00

Those right there, my dear family, are the waters of baptism. This week Jackie and Fransisco Neria entered into said waters, as did myself and Elder Zelaya as we were both the one's performing the ordinance. They chose to be baptized here in Hanford and confirmed up in Fresno. Good deal. The baptism was great! Everyone who helped us teach them showed up. It's awesome when the members get excited like this. Not only did they show up, but enough of the rest of the ward was there to fill up the rest of the seats. It was great! There was so much ward support here! (And the brownies they brought weren't so bad either) So normally in our gospel principles class which we teach since there isn't a called teacher, we usually have about 2-3 people show up. This week the class was packed, which isn't great since they give us the smallest one of the building. 6! 6 people! Ah ah ah! And the best part, Arnold was one of them. Man oh man, we're heading over there tonight to set a baptismal date for the 20th of June. I'll let you know how it goes next week. Which reminds me, isn't it lame that you had to wait until Tuesday to get an email from me? Yeah, I agree with all of you -- Monday holidays are severely lame. I counted out how many more I have to deal with and it looks like I'm down to one: Labor Day. Curse you Labor Day! Make me wait until Tuesday to email my family will you! I think I'll stick it to it by laboring twice as hard that day. /end rant Anyhew, now that I'm done on that, did I tell you all about the drunk guy we found lying on the hood of our car one night? We'd just taught an amazing first lesson, left the house and there he was, just chilling on the hood of our car, or, in his words, "protecting" our car. "I didn't do too much to it." He tells us, and we notice two freshly imprinted dents in the hood. We popped most of it out, now they're both about an inch around, and get what this body shop wants to charge us. 599 US dollars. Just to pop two dents. The estimate says they want to basically redo the entire hood, sand it down, match the colors, blah blah blah. I love mechanics. We told our Vehicle coordinator Elder Hogan, and with decisive conviction, he shoots, "I can do it for cheaper." We're just waiting on the ok for SLC now, but for the moment, we'll enjoy our 2 constant reminders of the lesson "be sure there aren't any crazy guys around where you park your car." To my friends, I'd like to remind them that as of today, May 26th, they have exactly 2 months to make up for a year's worth of no letters and plan out and send a few birthday packages. To my family, now that you're back from Florida, why not enjoy a real vacation by writing your favorite missionary? Paul doesn't count. I'll be expecting torrents of letters. With much less-than threes, -Elder D.

What I was doing while my family was living it up in Florida‏

2009-05-22T11:51:00.000-07:00

Here's a bulleted list: ~Getting my transfer call. Yep, I'm still here. 6 more weeks of egg-based showers for me and my new comp. My companion Elder Zelaya is headed to Fresno for his last transfer in the mission, and I'll be training a new zone leader. ~Attended the baptism of a one Vicki Corpus in Selma. I actually started teaching her while I was there half a year ago. Seeing all the members there made me meditate - boy did I ever suck at being a missionary back then! ~Had a new bishop called. Ahem*, let me rephrase that. Had a FORMER MISSION PRESIDENT called as our new bishop. Ha, earlier in the week he asked us how the member work was going, then told us he had the feeling it was going to increase soon. ~Spent 66$ on train tickets for 3 other missionaries to transfer from Hanford to Modesto. Holy crap! How has the passenger train industry been operating in the red for decades with prices like that??? ~Found a great new investigator named Jose. What makes him different than all the other Jose's I've been teaching? He actually called us after missing an appointment to apologize and tell us that "your book is powerful." And that, my dear family, is a good thing. So what did you do with your week? :P

10 reasons why being a missionary is greater than a trip to Florida‏

2009-05-11T12:23:00.000-07:00

1) Who needs to lay out and tan when I'm already biking in the sun all day?

2) Tracting can be scarier than even the most haunted lighthouse in St. Augustine.

3) No one in the San Joaquin valley has ever died of vicious gator assault. 4) No furious jelly fish attacks either.

5) Florida oranges? You haven't lived until you've tried oranges fueled by Hanford's intensely delicious AND nutrious Hydrogen-Sulfide enriched water! (Laced with arsenic!)

6) No stressing over summer dressing, only impressing with priesthood blessings.

7) There's no ability like accountability.

8) Never before have so many people I've never met known my name.

9) Florida's 5 star restaurants have nothing on Sis. Mesa's regionally acclaimed jiggling-off-the-bone posole.

10) Finally, I can relax and not worry about beachloads of tropical hunnies vigorously chasing me and my devilishly good looks down (and on the few occasions it has happened, I've at least got a bike to outrun them with).

Subject Line left blank intentionally

2009-05-04T12:17:00.000-07:00

Oye Enrique,

Clarification on the last email:

A slurpee made with water that reeks of eggs also reeks of eggs.

And tastes like them.

Thus, the first and worst slurpee I've ever drinken. Back to good ol' fashion icee's.

Family!

Apparently everybody (excluding Elder Daniels) is gathering in paradise Florida to witness the graduation of Dylan Daniels and birth of his son, Malcolm (unless mom gets her way). Elder Daniels wants to remind everyone that while they're basking away in the pristine sun of Gainesville, playing with alligators, tripping at the Ripley's museum, and in short, having the best time any 20 year old young man could ever have, Elder Daniels will be having the best spiritual time he could ever have chalking up blessings and converting the masses.

Now that that's out of the way, let me update you as to things.

Jackie and Francisco: Have a baptismal date! So amazing! They're excited, we're excited, and nothing could every dampen these spirits. Nothing, except they're moving to Fresno this Saturday and we're going to miss the baptism! Ahhhhhh! Not that I don't like handing the Fresno North Zone leaders two miracle baptisms, it stinks that we won't be there. Buuuuut, maybe we'll be able to pull a few strings. I don't know, just pray that God will provide many a string for us to pull.

Arnold, our long distance truck driving friend, is down for surgery, and so we're taking advantage of the grave misfortune and teaching him as much as possible. It's a bitter sweet situation. (woo hoo!)

Other than that, it seems like every investigator we're teaching knows that baptism is the ultimate goal. That is sometimes a hard place to reach, but when you do, man oh man, it's like going repelling and taking enough rope, heh heh heh (better answer my emails next week, Troy >:D)

With Mother's Day comes the call to be made at

---> 2:00 MST <---

Thats two - o - clock in St. George, dos y nata, PM not AM, right after church, somebody html a vibrant eye catching neon sign behind this, because the call is comin' at

---> 2:00 MST <---

This time is so great, that no matter what happens, I'll be calling at 2:00 MST. NO MATTER WHAT. And I can't prevent anyone from showing up at my parents house at that time either. *cough* Ryan *cough* Heath *cough* the rest of youz guys that still owe me a letter *cough*

Looking forward to it. Now then, come update me as to your lives.

-Elder Daniels

Hanford's finest slurpies

2009-05-04T12:16:00.000-07:00

Laced with arsenic and just as slimey, I should have recognized the smell before I bought it. Curse you 7-11!!!!

I don't have much to say, so I'll say it in the ancient japanese poetry form know as haiku.

Majestic heron
Raisins and smelly water
Please stop serving punch

-Elder Daniels

:D

2009-05-04T12:10:00.000-07:00

Yes, it is I, your needle in the haystack, diamond in the rough, plasma grenade on the brute. Life is once again amazing as we've change emailing locations. No longer will I be subject to teenagers crowding around me at every corner, blasting their music and checking their myspace. This new place is a specter from the gods -- no myspace, no gaming, no nothing. Just job searches, resumes, homework, and more specifically applicable to my situation, email! (think homestar runner)

This week was absolutely great. So much work! So much progress! It's just one of those weeks where even though 7th Day Adventists slam the door in your face after accusing Joseph Smith of writing the Book of Mormon out of boredom, you still don't care and focus on the work. Allow me to introduce you to my new best friend Alex.

Alex is the greatest thing to hit Hanford since the super wal-mart. He's 15 and spiritually sensitive. He loves our visits so much he wants us coming over everyday, and I'm the one concerned about it because I don't want to burn out this golden lightbulb. He even asked us after a lesson what it was going to take to get baptized into our church! It's Gary Speed Syndrome all over again, and I'm not complaining. The only problem we face now is this stake is very cautious when it comes to under 18 years old convert baptisms due to failure to retain those converts in the past. So our job now is to establish the most solid of the solid fellowships I've ever done in my entire mission so that should anything happen, he's got a 5000 square ft safety net to land in. He loved church and he's looking forward to mutual on tuesday and church again sunday. If there was an emoticon for gold, I'd insert it here. (/gold)

On a lighter note, enjoy this story.So a few missionaries we work with had an investigator that asked them what the word "bible" stand for. So they asked us, and we explained it was greek for "biblea", which translates into books. Therefore, bible, stands for books, which is exactly that -- a collection of books. Anyways, that wasn't the answer the guy was looking for. So their district leader sheds some light on the situation, they go back and give the guy exactly what he's looking for.

The word BIBLE, clearly designed from the cleverness of devine powers from before the foundation of this world and the universe,means

BASIC
INSTRUCTIONS
BEFORE
LEAVING
EARTH

...anyways, so we go on with our lives, forgetting that little shenanigan in the past. We approach a potential investigator whom we gave a copy of the book of mormon. He was nice, but he really only wanted the bible. He explained to us, "The Book of Mormon is just that -- a book. Your books a book, but the Bible's a bible." "Do you know what Bible stands for?" "Yeah dawg, it's basic instructions before leavin earth." "...Not quite. Actually it's...

"Honestly, what kind of backwards, degenerate country are we living in where cutesy acronymns are getting mistaken for pure, sound doctrine? I love all of God's children, I really do, so I'll end this rant here and turn on my companion to vent some more.

Anyways, I trust everyone is making plans to make it to the St. George homestead to hear my sweet voice on mother's day, so I'll leave you to your planning. Let me know where everyone is at in life, and if you've read any good scriptures lately I can use to teach about endurance, and I will enjoy your emails next week.

-Elder Daniels

Reptiles and Revelations

2009-04-06T15:16:00.000-07:00

Happy April 6th! Ha, who am I kidding?

It’s always a happy day when you get a bulk update from Elder D!

Everybody I talk to loves St. George. It’s almost contagious: “Beautiful!” “I’ve got family there. They love it!” “We’re visiting next week!” “Great vacation spot!” “Gorgeous country!”

My reply is usually somewhere along these lines: I breathe deep, hitch up my pants, and respond – “Yep. We’ve got the only In-N-Out in Utah.”

Let’s get the temporal out of the way first.

My Ward Mission Leader Bro. Briggs is some regionally renown reptile expert. In fact, the first day I got here he practically threw a snake on me. He’s way funny! So we’re walking through his garage, checking out his Albino Burmise Python (my gosh, it could crush a bus-load of children), when I hear a rattle. I lean down and bam! Right in my face, this coiled up rattle snake, poised to strike. Luckily, this little guy was no match for the 2 inches of glass caging him. I asked Bro. Briggs where he got it. “Oh, I was just driving along the coastline when I decided to pull over and grab some lizards. I saw him stretched across a rock, so I grabbed a stick, pinned his head down, stuffed him in jar and brought him back.” Just that easy for Bro. Briggs.

An assignment for you all – I need to know about the anti-oxidant oozing Acai berry. First off, how do you even pronounce Acai. Second, what is it? Can someone wikipedia it for me? K thx!

Now that all that’s out of the way, let me share with you an amazing story one of our investigators had.

We’ve been teaching their family about prayers and how to receive answers from prayers. Unknown to us, she had been struggling a bit with knowing that God was listening to her. So she applied what we taught her: Pray about it and listen. She asked God if he was there and was really there to help their family. In their family, I might add, the mom and dad are about to undergo a separation, and it’s not a friendly sight. So she asked her question, waited, and went to bed. The next morning she woke up with these three numbers in her head: 350, 8, and 11. Carrying on with her day, the numbers stay with her, their meaning eluding her. Then we show up. We talk about answers to prayer, teach a little bit, and she gets this idea. She does this all, mind you, without us noticing or telling us until the next day. Picking up her Spanish copy of the book of Mormon (she’s bilingual), she turns to page 350, which corresponds to Alma 33 and reads verse 8. She’s so shocked she doesn’t read verse 11 until after we leave. Arriving at church, she tells us about this, and then adds this priceless statement – Is that an answer? Read those verses and let me know what you think. I don’t think I’d do them justice to paraphrase. Needless to say, she knows God is listening and that He directed her to those passages.

Whoop, I'm out of time.

I'll talk to you next week.-Elder D

G-Con

2009-03-31T13:04:00.000-07:00

Congrats to Master Troy Daniels on his MBA. Unlike his graduation, however, when it comes my turn negative consequences will result from missing my graduation as I expect all of you to be highly successful when that time finally rolls around and have all sorts of take-off-whenever-you-want money. See you there!

Family,

General conference is here and as an excuse to watch tv I'm way excited! Two new apostles, I'm calling them here and now for all of you. Number 1: Neil A Maxwell. Number 2: Elder Condie -- Any general authority that makes me laugh in person deserves to be up there. Expect my next email to be chalk full of the boring-to-you exciting-to-me stuff that I learned.

The week has been cArAzY. We've been running back and forth putting out fires in our zone. Rebuilding companionship trust, leadership training, apartment checks, we barely had time to proselyte, but God blesses those who magnify their calling. At a baptism, a member's sister approached us wanting to be taught. She gave us her number, address, and everything! It's funny -- I work my highly attractive self to the core, get nothing done, and then God throws stuff like this in my lap. Hey, I'm ok with it.

So it finally happened. At dinner with a member, as soon as it touched my mouth I knew what I was in for and I knew I had to swallow it. HANFORD WATER (to be read with echo). Well, on the positive side I hear sulfur is good for your skin, and many cultures use enough arsenic to kill parasites in their bodies while just under the amount necessary to kill you. Goodbye parasites.

We're planning on setting four baptismal dates this week, so follow up with me on that to keep me accountable. Should be great!

Our zone was able to get 10 baptisms this month, though our goal was 12, that's still 4 more than this stake has seen monthly for a year. We're keeping the goal at 12.

Shoot, well I've got 2 minutes to send this and myldsmail is being tank-slow today, so I'll go ahead and click send. Talk to you next week.

-Elder D

Mar 23, 2009, and all is well

2009-03-25T07:40:00.000-07:00

Wow, look at that Joan Meeks has nearly been a member for a year. I wonder if she's been preparing to go to the temple... Have I told you the Oakland temple catch? Seeing as how it's outside of our mission, we here in Fresno are forbidden to attend it. However! There is a loophole. Baptize someone in the Modesto/Modesto North zone (where I've spent a good half of my mission so far), or take a key part in their new member lessons, and if they so choose they can invite you to get their endowment. So cool! Oakland is #4 on my top five temples list. Heck, for lists sake, lets make one.

----------------------Elder Daniels Presents------------------------------------------His Top 5 favorite temples--------------------Number 5: Salt Lake City, known for it's confusion by nonmembers with the Disney Land Castle!
Number 4: Oakland California, who's swirling spires never fail to make me wonder.
Number 3: Hawaii, not sure if Troy's been to that one but if he has, /jealousy.
Number 2: San Diego, Eric Esplin is the luckiest kid alive. (PS, does anyone know when he gets off his mission?)
Number 1: Of course it's going to be St. George-- it was the third temple ever built for cry-yie.
/end list.

Phew, too much fun. Well, with this 7 minutes, I'll make my time effective.

So as missionaries we're constantly writing in our planners. Potential Investigators, appointments, notes to do later, I live out of this thing. So one day I'm jotting down an address when I watch by some huge truck with a huge grill. My companion points it out. I crane my head around to give it a look-see, fail to have my interest caught, and bury myself in my planner to jot down a few more notes.

Days pass.

So here we are, enjoying a free pancake breakfast at the school but I'm accosted by an 8 year old girl.
"Hey, are you the church guys?"
"We sure are!"
"Hey, my dad said he saw some church guys dressed like you walk in front of our truck, take down his licence plate number, and walk away and we never heard from them again. Was that you?"
"Ummm.... I dunno, but those guys sure sound wierd, huh."
"Oh, ok! Bye!"
As soon as she leaves, my companion pieces the puzzle together.

Calling yourself wierd is never a good experience.

Love you all bueno, and keep praying for me to switch to Spanish. They're running low on Spanish Elders.

-Elder Daniels
PS - The new popular slang term here is "This guy", as in referring to anything. Is that popular any where else?
EX: This guy right here is a good tie.

Lessons left unlearned‏

2009-03-16T15:54:00.001-07:00

No auto-draft + time'd out =3D one great emailing client. If email clients were video games, myldsmail.net would be the Nokia Engage.=You feel special using it at first because not a lot of people get to, a=nd then you realize it has no features, isn't very fun, and when it's the=only thing you have you begin to lose friends. Honestly! Anyhew, I sent out a bunch of little emails, so that will serve as this wee=k's big one. Next time I'll use Word to avoid this sticky little situatio=n. Write me back! -Elder Daniels

Hanford's water: Figured out

2009-03-09T14:24:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Regi.

Hydrogen Sulfide. By Teancum's spear, how did Hydrogen Sulfide get to be so heavily saturated in the water supply here? I won't tell you what else is in the water, but let's just say Regi put it best when she felt my mission president is sending me mixed signals by making me a zone leader and sending me to Hanford. :S

Family!

We had a big week here. Between the temple trip, zone planning, zone meeting, and other various zone leader stuff, we've been swamped. We committed Jamica, the tallest girl I've ever met, to a baptismal date. Currently we're trying to figure out who's big and strong enough to baptize her, but as a way of covering our bases I've been working my baptism arm out. Our baptism goal for this month is 3. Well, there's 1. We've still got time though, so I'm not too worried. Just urgent.

Other big news... after a year of missionary work, I finally decided to learn how to iron. I actually decided that my 4th transfer, but I had a bad experience in which I practically sent my first attempt up in flames, so I decided to wait. So here I am! A complete ironing stud. Who'd a thunk it? Ladies, watch out-- you'll put out your eyes on these creases.

Other epic news... I asked the Pres. to switch me to Spanish off the top of my head. Didn't work. Looks like I'll be investing in Muzzy when I get back after all.

Hmmm... I guess I really don't have all that much to report. To give you a little insight into my life status, Hanford, as far as people go, is amazing. They are all so humble and hungry for the gospel. Plus in my two weeks here I have yet to be yelled at -- a transfer's first! This little farming town is such a striking contrast to the concrete jungle of Modesto where people were sooooooo funny. On second thought, I'll tell you more about why Modesto was so funny after my mission.

But life is good. We have a car, so I anticipate much more weight gain. I've had more headaches here, probably my body's response to the 5 star aquatic accomodations, but I've already got tylenol extra strength on my shopping list. I can play "love one another" one handed without messing up, and to top it all off, there's a guy who gives missionaries free pizzas, and we're going to try and find him!

So there you have it, the life of Elder. D. Andrew Daniels.
1814 North Echo Ave.Fresno CA 93704

Send him some love.

Sweet home Hanford CA

2009-03-04T07:36:00.000-08:00

Dad, Mom, Tymon, Angie, Dylan, Regi, Troy, and whoever else’s great fortune it is to stumble across this amazing blog,

How is life? Life here is good. Hanford’s an amazing place full of amazing people, the first of which being Bishop Morril, the member we live with. Life in a member’s home is better than I’d ever fantasized: We have a piano for p-day practice, a really nice toaster, the thermostat isn’t stuck freezing (or blistering hot as the case is now changing), and to top it all off he’s a really cool guy. I took Elder Hansen, my third companion’s, place here and they know how to work a zone. There’s this place that gives free hair-cuts to missionaries and I’m finally getting my suit pressed and cleaned again! It’s very exciting.

There is only one critical downfall to an otherwise paradise – the water. If anyone could, please wikipedia Hanford and tell me why the water here smells like rotting eggs? Supposedly after a week you get used to showering in it and can even gargle it without gagging, but I am not to that point yet. My gosh, the steam it produces is a toxic vapor to say the least. I had to pull something out of the bathroom after my comp had gotten done taking a hot shower I had to fight unconsciousness as they steam assailed me. Let me know why the water is like this!

The good news is I get an extra 5$ a month to buy water. It’s nice that they don’t expect me to drink this stuff.

So anyhew, I’m unsure of Hanford’s cast of characters at this point. All I know is that we have an amazing investigator named Jennifer that can’t get baptized until July, which is when she accumulates enough seniority at her company to take Sundays off and come to church. What a sad deal, but it’s still someone to teach and guide to the Celestial Kingdom. Jennifer was actually a church headquarters referral. She ordered a Book of Mormon, and here’s what the comments had to say: “I’m ready to begin my journey into the Mormon church.” Not everyday you get one of those. Needless to say, I’m excited to teach her. Maybe we’ll even see some miracles and she can start coming to church sooner.

My new companion Elder Zelaya is no Elder Priego, but he’s amazing. He’s showing me the ropes to leadership it’s nice to have someone concerned about my spiritual well-being. He actually gives me constructive criticism, a first for many months. He’s a Spanish speaker from Provo Utah, so this is the first Half English / Half Spanish companionship I’ve been in. Should be interesting. I figure if push comes to shove and I get bored during a Spanish lesson, I can just pull out my copy of Jesus the Christ and have at it.

Well there you have it. That’s my life in Hanford as a zone leader. If you’ve got any advice, let her rip and I’ll jump on it. I’m out of time, so take care, and if you see my friends on XBOX LIVE, tell them I said hey, I’ll see you in a year. Take care.

-Elder Daniels

Stacking soap boxes on top of soap boxes‏

2009-02-24T06:05:00.000-08:00

Family, I remember talking to Elder Walz after I had been called as a district leader. In his tender loving way, he reassured me “You pretty much know you’re a pile missionary if you never got called to be a district leader.” With great pride, knowing that I was not a pile missionary, I gladly took my place ahead of my district to lead them onto success. After two transfers of this, I was ready to withdraw and hand the mantle off to Elder Bagley, one of the best missionaries I’ve ever met, until Saturday morning met me with a surprise. Yes! There was the number I’d been waiting for! Release call time! “Elder Daniels! This is President Gonzalez!” “Hello President, how are you today?” My eyes glance up at the clock. Something was…different. Release calls don’t happen until the afternoon, and it wasn’t even 10 yet. In fact, I’d never been called before ten… Refocusing, President Gonzalez’s voice pierced through my disarray. “Elder Daniels, are you willing to go where the Lord wants you to go?” “Hmmm… yes.” “Elder Daniels, will you be a zone leader down in Hanford?” I dropped the phone, grabbed my bags, and jumped on the nearest form of transportation you see pictured here. Yes, I’m a zone leader now. Neat eh? I have no idea where I went wrong, but it should make for a speedy, growing transfer. Those are always the best kind. And in Hanford, no less. I’ll be replacing Elder Hansen, my last senior companion who taught me everything I know. He’s coming up to Modesto to be a zone leader. Back to Hanford though. Hanford is awesome – Selma was in the Hanford stake so I got to know a few people there. I’m excited because Selma will be in my zone, so I’ll get to see exactly what’s taken place with my old investigators. However, I do have my reservations about Hanford, California. If you would like to know them, just wikipedia Hanford, California. Let me know what you think. So anyhew, we went to the Taylor’s last night to say goodbye, where a mad clown stabbed my head with a chain saw. After my companion administered a priesthood blessing, he made the snide comment that I looked good with a chain saw poking out both sides. So we had a tender companionship inventory right then and there, and here’s a picture of how it turned out (Responsible parents will protect Reese, Tommy, and Johnny from this picture. Irresponsible ones will use them to recreate it). That family was so cool. I watched a ton of miracles happen as they started coming back to church: We tracted into their inactive daughter who is living with a guy and his family, and now we’re teaching both of them, we’re using their less-active son on team-ups (and he’s great!). One comment on Chris – We gave him a Plan of Salvation pamphlet to read up on before we go teach this kid on Tuesday. He got the chance to practice at one of our lessons last night and he had great comments. He told his mom after that he didn’t remember anything he’d read, but it just came to him as we taught. How cool is that? I’m sad I’m being transferred because I won’t get to see what happens. I guess I can always just talk to the Modesto zone leaders at zone leader council about it. I’ll miss serving with former mission president, current ward mission leader Bro. Tolebo and his zone conference grade gospel principles class and the other members as well. When I first got here, everyone was a bit frosty. It didn’t take long before I discovered the raw power in both those wards. My gosh, it’s like Goku’s spirit bomb is sitting there in Modesto, and 13 episodes later it’s been launched at the area and everyone is getting baptized! So long super success. Hope Senior Companion Elder Priego enjoys it. Well then, I will tie off my letter here. Seriously, wikipedia Hanford and let me know what your thoughts are. That includes my faithful friends who read this blog but don’t write me *nudge*. Happy St. Patrick’s day whenever that is! -Elder Daniels ----Hey, that was my first holiday in the mission! CaRaZy!

Not much time so I'll keep this one short.‏

2009-02-18T15:38:00.000-08:00

Happy day after President's Day everyone! If anybody is counting, that makes 2 preparation days ruined by Monday Holidays! Woo hoo!!! Yes, we are moments away from rushing over to teach a converts mom who would like more happiness in her life, and we plan on setting a baptismal date right after the first vision. Somebody remind me and I'll post you as to how that goes. Just a little fun fact of Modesto -Selma was the Siektropolis, Modesto is the Assyrian Empire. Both ours and the apartment complex next to us is chalk full of them, and they've all got an interesting story. They all came over from Iraq to get away from the persecution. I guess it isn't hip to be Christian over there or something, so we run into them all the time. They're pretty neat people (when they'll talk to you). We just got this Arabic Book of Mormon for a guy and it was the coolest thing I've ever seen in my life, other than the glances I snuk while our investigator Brendan's brother was playing Left 4 Dead. We're teaching this new kid and he's awesome. He's 18 and hilarious. I said to him, "What would it be like if you built a house on a sandy foundation?" To which he replies, "It would suck." Very matter of factly. Truer words were never spoken. Also, I had the misfortune of running into the new Sierra Mist label art the other day and having the heeby jeebies scared out of me. What's their new demographic? Fans of Sleepy Hollow? Phew, well, I need to get going. The work here does itself, but only when I'm there to watch, so I'll talk to you all next week! Keep feeding my friends, mom and dad. -Elder Daniels

Spontaneous Moral Boosts‏

2009-02-09T12:37:00.001-08:00

Someone just tried to call. Let me proclaim this to the world: Email time is sacred time. Mi familia, Monday already. I was telling Tymon how Mondays are coming faster and faster. A lot of stuff happened last week, both according to plan and insanely random. Here’s my attempt to sum it all up. First off, a question. We keep getting these weird calls from a machine which basically says, “This is the third attempt to reach you. Your warranty on your Toyota is nearly expired. Please press 1 to do something about it.” I get the feeling I shouldn’t be pressing 1. Does anybody know what kind of scam this is? I’ve gotten Toyota, Ford, Chevy, etc etc. Anyhew, so get this. We’re teaching this guy named Jee Elvis, and he is the coolest guy I’ve ever met. The reason? He’s an Elvis impersonator, pompadour and all. He’s been investigating the church for a few years, and we just picked him up. He loves the gospel principles book—he reads it before he goes to bed at night. While he was telling us all this, he left to go grab his customized copy, and here’s what he says in his identical-to-Elvis voice: “This is my book. I made the people on the front look like my family.” It was awesome. He drew Elvis hair on the dad and matched the hair-cuts to his wife and kids. I’ll try and get a picture and send it next time. After checking our mail, we run into this awesome east-philly guy stops us and gives us a pep talk. He looked like Kevin Eubanks from the tonight show band, with a hip-cool-guy vocabulary to match. It was all about how he was once the slickest kid in school, but now he busts his hump making money for his family, and how if he was young again he’d do it all different. He told us that no matter what anybody else thought, we’re the cool ones, and he said this while pointing at and touching my companion’s heart. He told us we could have a job like this, and he does this awesome charade of someone reading a report and typing, or we could have a job like this, and he makes a motion of swinging a pick-axe over his shoulder. So there you go. I never felt more motivated in my life. The underlying theme being, of course, that we’re nerds. Ha ha, this guy is awesome. I’ll let you know if I ever run into him again. We tried to set a few baptismal dates this week and failed. One wants to learn more, but admitted he believes the Book of Mormon is true. One’s mom is highly apprehensive of the church. Her 9 year old step brother Tyler just has to talk to his mom about it. Another one has to get married *ouch.* Another has to quit smoking. Another has to believe in God. All in all, we have our work cut out for us. It’s been a great week though. We tracted into this inactive member living with her boyfriend, and we are very familiar with her member parents in 1st ward (They just gave us about 20 lbs of various cereals). We set up a lesson, and it went great! He’s never been too religious, so first is to confirm that God is there. Easy enough, right? We also taught this lady Billy. Billy is awesome. We were talking about how many churches there are, about prophets, and she was like, “I just wish I knew! I mean, wouldn’t it be great if there was a prophet on the earth today? How can I know?” How many times do you get perfect questions like that, honestly. At the end of the week I threw together a talk, which was applauded by the old bishop and our ward mission leader, so I guess it went all right. I spent most of the time talking about Gary Speed, the miracle story baptism of Groveland. This ward member came up to me, and was like, “Gary Speed? Does he teach a bag piping class?” Does he ever. He practically came out of the baptismal font water playing praise to the man. All in all, a good talk, and the first one I’ve given not just reading off a piece of paper. Neat. Anyhew, I’ve got to be going, but I’ll hope all of you the best. One thing I want to know about is the St. George temple spire story, something about God shooting it with lightning or something because the builder didn’t listen. What was that story again? Somebody tell me! -Elder Daniels

February the Second, and all is well

2009-02-03T14:47:00.000-08:00

I only get these tiny thumbnails of pictures when I’m uploading them, so hopefully I threw on the one of the Petersons where Raegan doesn’t look possessed.

Yes, this week Sis. Peterson finally made the big plunge, and it was one of the best baptisms I’ve ever experienced. Their family is so amazing – I am definitely going to be there for the sealing… I hope. The good news is if they don’t do it in a year, I can drive out to Oakland after I get home.

And here’s my companion, showing the comparative size of this enormous grapefruit we got to his head. Enjoy.

Have I told you about our new ward mission leader Bro. Tolebo yet? He practically breathes the spirit, and rightly so – he did serve as a mission leader in Guatemala. He teaches the gospel principles class, and let me assure you that I take notes. It’s intense. One of the new goals our mission has is to teach in an investigators home at least four times per week, so we took 13 year old Victoria over to his house to watch the movie “The Restoration.” Afterwards, we had Bro. and Sis. Tolebo bear their testimonies of the experience and how they came to know it was true. If the spirit was water, then Victoria was a very tiny Polynesian island completely shadowed and drenched in the monsoon of Bro. Tolebo’s testimony. He is quality. Are there any former mission presidents in the ward back home? I thought about that the other day and wondered if I knew anybody. The closest I could come up with was maybe Roy and Jane Valentine. Let me know. So yeah, not only is Bro. Tolebo a monsoon of the spirit, he also gave us gift cards to Jamba juice, so it’s pretty much official: He is the coolest person I’ve met on my mission.

After that amazing lesson, we went and taught Bobby. Bobby is pretty much the funniest, cockiest kid I’ve ever met. Here’s a few choice quotes:

“Bobby, you sound like you must be pretty popular.”

“Of course I am! I’m Bobby!”

“Bobby, that shirt is pretty cool.”

“Well yeah, because it’s on me.”

*After grabbing my celestial and terrestrial kingdom cut outs*

“It’s a holy solar eclipse!”

This kid cracks me up every time I teach him. The thing is though he’s the smartest kid I’ve met so he answers every question perfectly, which tells us everything we teach sinks in. Here, I’ll toss in a pic of Bobby after his baptism.

Get this. I’m on splits at church since we cover two wards, and here comes the new first counselor. “Hey, are you the senior companion?” Something was up, but what… “Yes…” “Ha, well that stinks.” I knew I should have run. I get to give a talk in church next Sunday. I’d feel worse about it but I found out he caught my companion an hour later and assigned him in two weeks. I’ll let you all know how that goes.

Anyways, life is good and no complaints. I’ve got 5 minutes so I’ll wrap this up. Send me some jokes, and I’ll release you.

Take care,
-Elder Daniels

Sometimes I feel like a talking M & M

2009-01-26T14:33:00.000-08:00

His name was Gary Speed. He called us up on the telephone to inform us that he wanted to learn more about the church. We were happy to oblige, so we taught Gary Speed at the Dale Road church building. Gary lives up in a place called Groveland but works in Modesto all week, so despite many attempts to get the Groveland Elders involved, we finished all the teaching. Gary took to the gospel like Master Chief to a plasma grenade. My gosh, I thought tithing was going to be a problem, but he’s already got a testimony in it. He was the fastest baptism I’ve ever seen. One month after we started teaching him he was baptized. All in all, we need more investigators like Gary here in Modesto so we can take the number.

Family! Here I am again. Sorry about last week, but that’s what happens with Monday Holidays and busy Tuesday schedules. This past 7 days has been random. Crazy random. Here are the details.

We tract into this guy who stares at us so buggly eye’d that I accidentally laugh. “So you guys really DO exist!” “That we do sir, how’d you hear about us?” “Wait, how old are you?” “20.” “Oh man, no kidding. My girlfriend told me about you guys and I thought she was bat crazy. I can’t believe it! I’d love to talk to you more but I’m tied up at the moment. You two keep up the great work.” And that’s what my mission is all about – impressing the masses that we really do exist. Sometimes I feel like a talking M & M.

Next contact: “Hey, how are you doing today?” No eye contact. “Would it be all right if we left you with this card?” “No. Bye.” He presses the crosswalk button. Unabated and with big smiles, “Are you sure? I know it would make your day ten times better!” “Mormons? Bye.” He begins frantically tapping on the crosswalk button. We begin to explain what the card is for when the light changes and whoosh. He’s off like a bullet. I’ve never seen anyone run that fast away from me. Surely they will praise him as Joseph of Old where he went.

Random picture: Me and a picture of…me? You be the judge.

Next picture: The district.

Our work seems to be shifting from Modesto first to Salida with the baptism of Sis. Peterson this Saturday. After Sister Peterson is out of the pool, we’ll have Victoria, golden girl of M1 to teach, but we’ve just been invited to teach Bro. King of Salida, a guy who determined to go to church on his own. Also of Salida, Brendon is doing fabulous. We watched the movie “The Restoration” and asked him what he thought afterwards. He told us that if God called prophets before, why wouldn’t he call them today? Every member I’ve shared this with has been dumbfounded with the obvious, and exclaim “Exactly! Why can’t everyone get this?” I laughed. Life is good when you’ve got people to teach.

So that’s pretty much my life out here. Now I’ve got a few questions, and I expect a few answers. First of all, I’ve been thinking about Bruce Campbell a lot lately, author of such books as “If Chins Could Kill.” I recall a conversation with Tymon about a movie called “I Am Bruce,” where Bruce Campbell plays himself. Has that come out yet? Also, if anyone wants to sport me some reasons how the Holy Ghost is different from the Gift of the Holy Ghost, that’d be swell too.

And that right there is my life. I expect updates on each of yours as well. Email or write,

Elder Devin Daniels

1814 N. Echo Ave

Fresno CA 93704

-Elder Daniels

Trim up the trees

2009-01-12T12:34:00.000-08:00

and throw them into the streets. It's Christmas time in California! This past week I've spent the majority of my time weaving and dodging an arsenal of Christmas trees on my bike. I must have missed out on this holiday tradition growing up -- scooching out your obsolete Christmas tree into the nearest bike lane for the city to pick up one month later.

Family! Here's your update for January 12, 2009. It's still cold and I'm still serving here in Modesto 1st and Salida. Elder Shepperd is to be hauled off for an all expenses paid trip down to Viscalia 3rd Ward. Elder Priego stays ever loyal at my side. President must not think I've dropped the ball hard enough and has kept me a district leader. Sisters are being doubled into my district to replace the Elders, and Elder Bagley is training, completely eliminating all of my responsibility to go on exchanges this transfer (woo hoo!). There is a girl on her way to getting baptized moving into our apartment complex (as if that couldn't be anymore perfect), and Sister Peterson is still holding strong. We're teaching an Elvis Impersonator tonight which I can hardly contain my excitement for. Now let me tell you about Gary.

Gary, Gary, Gary. Gary is the coolest. One weekly planning I get a call from this guy who's looking for someone to teach him about the church. Well, you've come to the right place now, haven't you? He asks us what the procedures are for being baptized in our second lesson. Unfortunately, he's not our baptism -- he's Elder Bagleys since he lives in Groveland -- but he spends all of his time in Modesto so we get to teach him. He basically arranged to fly out all his friends to his baptism and then called us to ask if he could have one. Since when is gold this easy to come by? Anyhew, he'll be baptized on the 24th, Sonora will get a number, and we'll get blessings in heaven. Neat!

Now then, I request information from whoever has it. Everybody raves about their geneology here. What the heck is our geneology? Where are we from and how did we get here? Yes, I can answer the ultimates of those questions, but I want the secular answers. Let me know what you know, k thx.

Anyhew, everything is going great. I'm even going to bring my camera to the library next week, so expect some self-portraits of yours truly to post as the background of your myspaces. Enjoy your week, and I will talk to you later.

-Elder Daniels

The big one-oh.‏

2009-01-10T20:33:00.000-08:00

Yes, that is correct. Today marks the day of my glorious 10 month mark. It's just a shame it doesn't mean anything monumental. I just figured I'd give you all a reason to celebrate today if you needed one. So this week was interesting. Remember that girl Savannah that loves to bite things I was telling you about? We talked to her cousin Sandra, a recent convert, about it. Apparently it's some kind of huge problem. We laughed. She was serious. I guess they wake up and all their shoes have been chewed up. Problems like this remind me of people who own dogs, so I laughed even harder. Anyhew, the moral of this story is, watch out if Tommy starts telling you that he loves to bite things. Tracting is always a fun experience on a stick. We haven't done as much tracting this transfer as my last few, which is good for my moral but bad for telling stories. Oh well, here comes another tracting experience: We're teaching this lady about the Book of Mormon. She kind of zones out. We ask her if she thinks it's possible that God would talk to the people in America. She looks at us for a while, gathers herself, and loudly whines, "Can I please just go back to sleep?" I love tracting. So here's where my peeps are at: Sis. Rhoades: Baptized AND confirmed. She tripped down the stairs on her way back to her seat after the confirmation, and recovered with grace: "It must have been the Holy Spirit." Well played Sis. Rhoades, well played. Bobby: MISSED CHURCH FOR HIS CONFIRMATION!!! We went by and had a little talk. I guess his mom forgot to wake him up (didn't know about the time switch). Bleah. Well, maybe next week I suppose. Sis. Peterson: Today marks day 5 of living the word of wisdom. She's still strong and her family is still hilarious. Other investigators: Other who? No, we just met this girl Victoria who came to church with a member friend and told her she wanted to be baptized. Woot! I guess this area where I've been serving has been a proverbial drought. The last baptism was a year ago. Then I came and baptisms just started falling into our lap. Victoria comes to church, Bro. Peterson reactivates himself and brings his nonmember family with him, Sis. Rhoades gets a testimony, we solve Bobby's problem, and now we've got an appointment with a member's nonmember wife who's agreed to take the lessons. I love it when they do that! All in all, quality over quantity here in Modesto. Also, the Bolton's know Angie's mom. Aaaaand, I met a Mrs. McClellan who was surprised we pronounced her name right. Neat. This transfer has gone by really fast, probably the fastest so far. Last time I had a transfer as fast as this one, the one after was the slowest of my entire life. Just pray for me, ok? Anyhew, stay tuned for next weeks letter to find out where I'll be. Good luck to all of you, where ever the heck you all are. -Elder Daniels PS - I catch that coin magic is the new rubber band magic. If anyone has any tricks I can steal, I'll take 'em. Tymon, I'm looking in your general eastwards direction.

The email after Christmas and before New Year's Eve‏

2008-12-29T15:43:00.001-08:00

Talofa. This week has been all sorts of crazy: crazy good, crazy bad, and most importantly, crazy crazy. Crazy Good: Sis Rhoades was baptized. Everything went great! I got a little worried there when Elder Priego and I had to give a little presentation and who should be in our audience but Pres. McAndrews (Pres Gonzalez's first counselor,) Stake President Barton, and former mission president Bro. Tolboe, but everything went well. They all told us good job, so there's one bullet successfully side stepped. Sister Rhoades was overwhelmed and had a great time. Baptisms are awesome. Sister Peterson continues to see millions of answers to her prayers. Where do we start? 1) While passing by the "Church of the Cross," she wonders aloud, church of the cross? What kind of name is that for a church? She later returns home to read what we left her, 3 Nephi 27, which is all about naming a church in Christ's name. She thought that was awesome. 2) Her and Bro. Peterson and currently unemployed and haven't seen or heard anything from workers comp in nearly a month. She prays about it, asking to just make contact with them and find out what's going on. She goes to her mailbox, and voila! Workers comp check'd! Miracles abound. 3) After we gave her a stop-smoking lesson which asks for certain things to aid in quitting smoking, she immediately went out to acquire them. One of those things is a specific, hard-to-find brand of mouthwash, which is an absolute must. The lesson stresses that brand highly. She'd never even seen it before! So, she said a prayer to help her. Second place she visits, there it is -- last bottle. Pretty much everything in the world is working for and against her it seems, and we're way excited to try and set a baptismal date with her this week. I'll update you as to how that goes. Bobby, oh bobby. He's getting baptized. Tuesday! Crazy good! Crazy Bad: While at church, I was sitting next to 11-year-old Bobby and his water-filled squishy dog, and Bryce, 8-year-old Sis. Peterson's son was on the other side. Bryce asked me if I knew any more magic tricks. ~~~~CaRaZy SiDe NoTe!!!!~~~~~~I've mastered a few rubber bands tricks in my spare time, such as melting one through the other. I use these tricks to simultaneously teach the gospel and convince children I'm a sorcerer. If anyone knows of any good rubber band tricks, or other easy to do tricks with every day items, please send them to me. In fact, somebody google rubber band tricks for me and let me know what you find. I'm going to follow up with you on that! Anyways, Bryce asks if I know any more magic tricks. Bobby's little squishy dog has a whole in it, so I'm like, yeah! Watch this! I squeeze it and shoot a thin jet of water at him. He laughs. Bobby seizes the dog and proudly exclaims, "I can do that too!" Summoning the sleeping giant within, he squeezes the thing as hard as he can, which explodes all over my pants. I spend the rest of church with girls staring with questioning looks. Also, both of my shoes now have holes in them, BUT! Christmas brought me a new pair. Neat! Crazy Crazy: So we're out tracting and we're talking to this lady. We get some good dialogue going, and this 4 year old girl emerges out of nowhere with this huge smile on her face. "I love to bite everything!" she says. The mom kind of scoffs and rolls her eyes. "What? Watch me!" To which she jets out the door, takes this plastic chair twice her size in her mouth and completely hoists it into the air by her teeth alone. I don't think I've ever been as impressed in my entire life. Anyhew, I just made a joke about why my companion hasn't responded to me on my face book yet. I strategically said it in front of our zone leaders, who didn't even flinch. Hopefully that one will keep me out of crazy leadership. Here's to the power of prayer. Christmas was good to us. I don't think I've ever gotten as many presents before in my life. We have so much food I could probably save up for a wii right now, and I probably will. I'm not sure if it was the 10-month movie drought, but Wall-E was one of the most genius movies I've ever seen. My favorite part was when the fat guy gets pushed out of his chair, and confusedly says, "By Wall-E!" So yes, I'm doing fine. Alive, and kicking. Keep my investigators in your prayers, and if you run into Ryan, give him some money. Heath too. It was great talking everyone but Troy (take that -- mission video game taking forever), jk, and I will hopefully talk to you all some more Mother's Day. Take care! -Elder Daniels

Sitting on Santa and the great umbrella caper‏

2008-12-23T10:19:00.000-08:00

Merry Preparation Day! I hope you all enjoy this fantastic picture of me decking Santa for not bringing Super Smash Bros. Brawl. Modesto is cold, and wet, and now both my shoes apparently have cracks in the bottom that volcano water everywhere. Buuuuuttttt the area is still great! Few investigators still, but the ones we do have are solid. Let me tell you about lil’ Bobby. This kid cracks me up. The whole lesson he keeps getting up and going outside for a minute. I wondered for a while until the missing puzzle piece fell squarely into place. We’d missed the earlier conversation his family had with him about stinking up the living room, and so he found a solution. Did I tell you this kid was bright or what? Who here remembers Tom Green, from the Tom Green show? You know, it’s not the Green Tom show. Anyways, I found out what happened to him. He moved to Modesto 1st ward. Am working on pics to prove it. Before I get to into the week, let me update you all as to the Christmas plan. The mission wants families to call us, so now the responsibility is yours. How much fun for you! Angie and Tymon, I’m sending you the phone number to call. Could you call at 1:00 my time? I’m assuming it’s 3:00 PM your time, but I’ll go ahead and let you google that. The calls have to be < 40 minutes, so feel free to help me out there. There… I think that’s all the trivial details. Afterwards we’re going to have a fancy Christmas dinner and wrap it all up with Wall-E. Merry Christmas one and all. If I could ask each of you to grab the nearest tissue box and assure you’re not next to a loved one, that would be beneficial, as this next story is going to make you cry and want to punch many a throat. Back in Selma, as a very pointless gesture, we were given our very own car to let sit in our parking lot and wash on Mondays. This vehicle came equipped with all the features a Corolla should: Cruise control, 6-disk cd changer, and 2-foot long bubble wands and an umbrella to boot. We figured meh, we’ll leave it in there. Soon after, they took our car and replaced it with another, tossing the bubble wands and umbrella in the back. Figuring they didn’t know who’s it was or want it period, I gingerly claimed the umbrella and stashed it away in my suitcase for the rainy season. IT REMAINED IN MY POSSESSION FOR 4 MONTHS. I used it twice. Sunday comes along and I dress up in my best suit, ready for church with a smile on my face and a Book of Mormon in my hand. Dark clouds threaten to turn my smile upside down, but, undaunted, and grab my black, nondescript umbrella and head out the door. Arriving at church, I hang my coat and place the umbrella near. What proceeded was a very pleasant Christmas program. Pleasant until we turned to leave home… Not thinking too much, I grab my coat and head to the foyer. The coolest kid I’ve ever met named Clark hands me a candy cane that was broken in only one place. Awesome. I thank him kindly, peer out at the rain, and realize I’m missing one thing! I rush back to the coat rack. Shock quickly turned to horror as the seriousness of my situation rushed over me like a cold shower. My gosh… it’s gone! Some “latter-day saint” had gone and keifed my umbrella! Who even knew members knew how to keif! I left a card with my number as a way for the umbrella thief to avoid eternal damnation in hell. The last thought on my mind as I drifted off to sleep was of how sweet the pointing of my finger will be at the judgment bar against that person. So that’s my life right about now. I hope all of your lives are much, much happier and less, less full of umbrella thieves. I exhort you all to stop an umbrella thief in your neighborhood today. Nobody wins with umbrella thieves. Nobody. Well, I guess I’ll save all the juicier stuff for next week, especially since I have to log off soon. We should be getting 2 baptisms this week so pray that nothing goes wrong. Wait, let me rephrase that. Something always goes wrong, so pray that I can deal with it. I look forward to addressing you all Christmas day, and invite you all to stay classy. Much love, Elder Daniels

I'm dreaming of a Christmas soaked by a raging Alaskan storm

2008-12-15T11:28:00.000-08:00

Just in time for the holidays! Oh boy! It's a good thing I went down to Target and just bought one their their fireplaces to wear sweaters. Sweaters are a whole new genre of clothes for me to explore because, let's face it, who needs a sweater in St. George? Rephrase: Who needs a sweater in St. George that spends his winters hunkered down in his basement playing Left 4 Dead? I wish it was me! So Modesto is crazy. That's pretty much it. We have few investigators but the ones we do have are full speed ahead. People are about as random the skittles commercials were when I left. For instance, here's some guy I mistook for a member. He comes driving by in his minivan, matches his speed to ours, and yells out his window, "Hey guys, can you tell me the meaning of life?" To which I smugly responded, "I can tell you, from a book." That's when he decides to blow the mystery into pieces, "Yeah, I'm a baptist. I go to that church down the road, but keep up the good work!" Strange-- baptists usually think less of the quality of my work. People here are also pretty bold. I can pull out a card, look someone straight in the eyes, and promise them the blessings of heaven and they'll completely ignore me. It was annoying at first but now it's actually impressive. Then you get the type of people that are pretty much your typical nonplayable characters in RPG's. You know, the ones where you go up and push A and they say the same things over and over again? "I just got out of the dentist. I'm on my way home." Push A enough and they finally say something a liiiiiittle bit different. "I need to take my medicine by 6." Neat. Who says video games don't prepare you for the real world? My companions are pretty hilarious. My samoan one Elder Shepperd is priceless. English is his second language, and his fall back phrases are "Yep" and "That's amazing." You can imagine some of the situations that gets us into. I'll never forget this street contact. "Hello, we're missionaries!" "I am assyrian!" "Oh, I'm sorry about that." "Why are you sorry!" "Here's a card." I laughed about that for hours. What he meant was that he was sorry he doesn't speak Assyrian. Priceless. Elder Priego actually went to Dixie College my last semester. He's from Spanish Fork and we bond over various Internet memes and video game terminology. He had the chance to play Brawl, but didn't. I give him a hard time for it. As for our investigators, Sister Rhoades is gung ho about being baptized. I looked up her former record and laughed at some of the comments the old missionaries had made. She was pretty anti, crazy anti, and now I think she's just tired of fighting it. Humility -- it's a good thing. Sister Peterson, oh Sister Peterson. If you didn't catch the story last week, Brother Peterson was an inactive member for decades who reactivated himself and brought his family with him. Sister Peterson is hilarious and makes us cookies all the time. She wants to know the church is true, and so does her husband. Her son's baptism was huge for her. Man, I love it when every single piece possible falls into place. Good times. Bobby, this 10 year old kid, is a crack up. I asked him what time would be good to teach him. "Well, the only day I don't have open is Tuesday, when I'll be joining my Boy Scouts of America." Seriously, I love this kid. His whole family is practically members, and President says just give him the interview questions, brush up where you need to, and get him wet! The reason he was baptized was because of the name his mom wanted to be baptized. We cleared it with President that she can have him baptized whatever name she wants, it'll just be the legal name on the records. Boy oh boyardi, this kid radiates so much gold it's damaging my eyes. Anyhew, Christmas time is here and I still need to know when would be a good time to call. We'll be going to the Lopers to enjoy dinner, and we'll also be watching a rated g movie, talk about classy. Any suggestions? Wall-E is the one we're thinking of. Never even heard of it. Something about a robot that doesn't talk. Is everyone going to be at Tymon's? You should invite a few of my buddies over to Kansas. Feel free to send as many fruit snacks as you can my way. I'll be the kid with glasses freezing in Modesto. You take care. -Elder Daniels

What did I do to deserve this?

2008-12-03T06:40:00.000-08:00

Driver? Senior Companion? District Leader? In a threesome? What...the...heck? I get the feeling my mission president is not only trying to kill me, he's going to vaporize my beautiful corpse. Yes, I'll be heading to Modesto to be with Elders Priego and Shepherd. Elder Priego apparently went to Dixie, so at least we've got that going, but I have no idea what to expect in a threesome. It sounds pretty neat -- get tired of one companion, focus on the other. Except I'll be district leader, so that means I can't play favorites. So lame. It'll be interesting all right.

So how was everyone's Thanksgiving? From the looks of my empty inbox, I assume it was pretty good. We went over to the Preston families home and helped them assemble their Christmas decorations while simulataneously dancing around the landmines scattered about the yard by their friendly dog Lady. Stuffed ourselves, played Cranium, and off we went to another family's house to do it all over again. When we ended up at this Spanish member's home, it was time to call it a night. All in all, a good Thanksgiving. The members really do take care of us here.
Last Sunday was pretty intense. It sucks having to leave all the familiar faces behind, but at least I know I can always go back. I snagged a picture with this one guy who looked just like me when he was 20, so I'll forward it onto you when I get to Modesto. Now I get to look forward to Christmas with a ward full of people I've never met before, but that's all right-- we get to watch Wall-E, or some other random G-rated movie. Any suggestions?

All the kids in this ward have been raving about Left 4 Dead. Do me a favor and tell me a sucks, but then tell me stories about how awesome it sucks. I think that would be the most adviseable suggestion.

Back to missionary work, when I first met this guy named Manual, the depression and stress surrounding him was palpable. After saying goodbye to him, he testified of how much his life has changed since he met us. He still isn't baptized, but it helps when you can see the changes the gospel sets into place start to manifest.

Joan Meeks, our recent convert in Sonora 2nd, sent me another letter. She's so funny -- she calls herself my second grandma. Little does she know, I don't have any grandmas, so she's just been promoted.

Isaac, ever learning, loves the pamphlets we give him. He read the one of the Law of Chastity and enjoyed it so much that he made his 18 year old + kids read it. We haven't been able to say goodbye to him, but I've got his address as a fail safe.

Did I mention that Pawan dropped us? Sad stuff, isn't it? John, my most logical investigator, also dropped us. I think he began to realize what would happen if he found out the Book of Mormon was true. Got to hand it to him-- he just side-stepped a lot of changes. All we could do was testify and tell him to call if he ever wanted to learn more. I hope he does.

Anyhew, looks like everybody wants to leave, and since I really don't have anything else I'll end off here. Somebody wikipedia Salida and let me know what it's like -- I have to cover it too.

Saying goodbye from the raisin capital of the world,

Elder Daniels

When BYU plays U of U, missionaries always lose.‏

2008-11-24T11:37:00.001-08:00

Seriously, do you know how hard it was to find a teamup for that day? And we had like 10 appointments!!! Things really got annoying after the fifth person in a row got done laughing at me. Geeze. I even promised blessings. Oh, and congrats to Troy's team, frowny faces for mom and dad. I have no idea where the rest of you stand. Go Gators for Dylan. This ward has a palpable split in people who love BYU and UofU. There's this guy named Bro. Maxfield, hilarious guy. During a fast and testimony meetings he's the one that got up and whipped out a UofU shirt to dab his forehead with. During priesthood, they pointed out the huge smile on his face while nonchelantly flashing his UofU cuff links. Too classy! For those of you who've lost track, California is crazy. We pulled up to an appointment and there were some 6 year old kids sitting around. One of them looks at us and says "Craaap, man. I thought you was the cops." Seriously, only a 6 year old in California would get worried when the cops pull up. Our most interesting investigator Pawan, sadly to say, has been dropped. She opened the door and told us her parents no longer enjoy our company. I asked her what she thought of it and she said she didn't know... Seed successfully planted. Testified of the truthfulness of the BoM and commited her to keep reading and praying. Good stuff. As for Isaac, he just keeps getting cooler. Word of Wisdom? Always a hump for anyone, but this guy already quit doing everything! He told us how evil it was before we even taught him the principle! His biggest concern is coffee. Psh. Stand coffee next to the other stuff, it's like a regular zombie vs. a turbo zombie in left for dead. For your information, my hands are extremely cold, so please excuse any mistakes. I really just don't want to fix them. In other news, my watch is slowly disintegrating. It's been nice and huge, just like I like my watches, and it's had a good run for the past 8 months, but it looks like I may have to put her down. Truly this will be a mile mark in my mission. Here's something strange. An investigator who told us not to come back called and asked us to come back. Has that ever happened to any of you? Anyhew, our thanksgiving plans are pretty solid. We're going to eat at pretty much every hour of the day. How well are you feeding the missionaries back home? Must be pretty well. As for baptisms, just got to get one guy to quit smoking, another lady to quit smoking, and finish teaching Isaac. How delicious. I will update you next week. Hope everything is well, and I expect serious Left 4 Dead updates when I return next monday. Also, how was the Twilight Movie? I must know!!! Take care! -Elder Daniels

The email before the email before Thanksgiving (filler stuff)‏

2008-11-17T12:38:00.001-08:00

Family, We'll start with an update of the good ol' investigadores. Isaac -- still awesome, wants to learn it all. He's going to his mom's church for the holidays to make her happy. While admirable, it is simultaneously giving me hemorhages. We're going to try and strike some sort of deal with him to go one Sunday to her church, then one to ours. Come on, it's 6 weeks! Pawan(Poven) -- also still awesome. She is probably the smartest 15 year old girl I've ever met. She understands everything 10 levels above your average investigator. I could definitely see her speaking at conference someday. Still praying about Joseph Smith. We'll follow up with that Saturday. Manual -- the man with the weight of the world on his shoulders. He's way excited about baptism. He wants to start fresh. Next logical step -- get him to come to church. This area has been notoriously difficult to get people to church. Should we start bribing people? Seriously, any suggestions would be appreciated. Andrew -- His November baptism has become a January baptism. January will most likely become a March Baptism. March will most likely become March again, and soon, well... lets just say there is a very choice scripture in the Doctrine and Covenants about children of record and their parents. With great lamence, he will most likely be dropped soon. There's just a couple to get my creative side rolling. Well, not much is terribly new here in Selma. Elder Walz goes home in about 2 weeks and is way excited. His family (including his dad) is telling him all about the recent releases for the XBOX 360, so all I can say is good for him. Elder Reidhead is convince he'll be handling the mantle he's been wearing for 6 months off to me and I'll become the new district leader. If I can do anything to prevent that, I will. Elder Swain is still from Kentucky. 2 weeks from now I'll be letting you all know where I'll be spending Christmas. It's pretty exciting, really. If I stay here I get to see how much of an impression I've left upon the members by how many presents I get from them. If I go somewhere else, well, then it's a grab bag, depending on how good the missionary before me was. I don't like those odds. If anything, I think I'd enjoy spending Christmas in the Raisin capital of the world. By the way, it's still way hot here. The weather just won't make up it's mind. Also, I need some advice. My calves are one stage away from consisting of jello. What is a good way to beef these things up for the Turkey Bowl football game? And I need something that works fast, because it's in two weeks!!! Furthermore, can anyone explain the wheel Ezekial saw in the sky? I've had two investigators bring that up to me and I am clueless. I told them I'd write Dad, so I decided to take it a step further and ask everyone. He who does not respond doesn't love me. Anyhew, update me as to the secular world. I hope everyone is good and in good position for a good Thanksgiving. I know I am. I'll explain later. Peace! -Elder Daniels

Yes, I am emailing on Wednesday

2008-11-12T20:06:00.000-08:00

Yes, I am emailing on Wednesday. Monday was Zone Conference and Tuesday was Veterans day, so sorry to my good friends I wasn't able to write letters to this week. Accept this emoticon as a symbol of my humble lamence. T_T

Anyhew, what's new with me. Well, Elder Condie spoke at Zone Conference. He had every missionary come by, shake his hand, introduce himself and say where he's from. "Elder Daniels. I'm from St. George Utah." "Well you've got to be from somewhere I guess." I'm still steaming from that General Authority grade burn.

My third and coolest companion Elder Hansen, who I spent many 100 degree plus days tracting with in Tulare discussing the finer points of Pokemon and XBOX live, is a zone leader now. While eating lunch together, I tried to pull some strings to get a demotion. He just laughed and said something about predicting a lot more hard work ahead of me. Who needs sleep anyways.

Selma is still Selma, the raisin capital of the world. We still get tons of free grapes, and every other person we talk to on the streets is Spanish. My companion is still from Kentucky, and everybody knows about it. Isaac is still aweome, but doesn't want to commit to baptism -- yet. He wants to learn it all first. Powan (Povin) still wears a sweet dagger at her side, studies Punjabi, and is still reading from the BOM. We've got her praying about Joseph Smith now. Jessica, a member's friend, is coming up on her third appointment with us. She's hilarious. We taught her the plan of salvation, and asked, "So how are you going to get to the Celestial Kingdom." "...by living a Mormon life?" Bingo. She didn't pray, so we corrected her with love and recommitted her to pray again. Manual is still dealing with the weight of the world on his shoulders, and his little dog keeps biting the back of my heel every time I walk past it, but he's feeling better and really wants to get baptized. Unfortunately he has to come to church before that can happen, and he's trying to work that out with his family. Andrew is still on the proverbial diving board, just waiting for a good hard push from yours truly. His mom still wants to wait, but we're going to try and sell her on the gift of the Holy Ghost on Thursday. I'll update you as to how that goes. We're also teaching this really cool guy name Blake. Blake wears shirts that say "I have an angler management problem." He read, but didn't pray. What is it about the praying part that gets people??? I am getting good at chastizing though.

Thanksgiving. What a Holiday. The other Elders are getting me way excited. Since nobody likes opening their door during Thanksgiving dinner and seeing two hungry kids in white shirts and ties sharing messages about Jesus, the name of the game is go to as many member's houses as possible, eat as much food as you can handle, and get the referrals that you were sent out here to get. What a day what a day.

Anyhew, we've got to get going to an appointment. We're going to go teach a Catholic guy who invited us back. Time to testify. Keep me posted as to what's new in all of your lives, and make sure you stay classy.

-Elder Daniels

PS - A note for Ryan and Heath: I get to be Samuel L Jackson when we play Left 4 Dead.

Spending Halloween the right way">

2008-11-04T13:38:00.000-08:00

Halloween was pretty much the best day of my life here. Now, I say my life because proselyting that day was horrible. It was like everybody packed up their dog and left Selma to go trick or treat in Fresno, so we basically spent 3 hours biking around empty streets, which was good exercise for my new companion. He needs it. Our mission has a rule that on Halloween night you must be in at 6, so the Spanish Elders and we made the most of it by playing Risk, Sequence, and Ticket to Ride. Oh meh gesh, if anybody wants to feel good about life, just follow those three simple steps. In other news, who's up for a game of Sequence in 16 months?

My new companion Elder Swane likes to talk. Alot. And he knows it, but thats ok cuz we love him anyways (and I'm learning how to control it). These are things I never thought I'd have to learn. ^_^;

Elder Walz has been making everybody trunky lately. Serving around missionaries that are about to go home is rough! He's probably my second favorite elder in this mission, but I hope I never have to be around an end of his days missionary again! Sheesh. He does provide valuable video game info though. Pros and cons I guess.

Our investigators are beginning to blossom. We soft committed Pawan and Manual to baptism the other day and we are feeling good. A soft commitment goes something along these lines. "When you find out that the Book of Mormon is true, and that Joseph Smith was a prophet, will you be baptized into the true church?" Who's going to say no to that! But it gets our purpose out there and gives them focus during their study. We're not here to just share warm and fuzzy stories from the bible after all.

As for my main man Isaac... well... he wants to go to church with his mom until christmas, he say, to make her happy. Want to know how to put a frown on a missionary's face? Just say that to them. Oh well, we won't give up. He's too cool to give up on. Seriously, did I already tell you all about how he went and bought the Book of Mormon on CD so that he could listen to it while he drives, and a picture book so he could visualize and understand it better? Phew, did I say cool? I meant crazy cool.

Normally we'd have a baptism coming up this Saturday, but Andrew's mom seems to be playing mind games with us. She and her family decided to hold it off for a while via family council. Ugh. Well, we did our part. His salvation is, regretably, in her hands now. We'll keep trying though.

By the way, you should all see my legs now. Holy crap. I'm totally keeping this bike when I get home.

Anyhew, so thats my life up to this point here in Selma, the raisin capital of the world. Looking at what's in store for me, I'll probably spend a fourth of my mission in this one area. The people are cool, and the town is the dustiest place I've ever been to, so I think I'll be just fine. To the rest of you, I bid a fond adieu. Take care.

-Elder Daniels

ADD? ADHD? It's all the same to me now

2008-10-27T15:33:00.000-07:00

Family,

New- companion. His name is Elder Swain, and he is fresh out of the MTC. He's from Kentucky and he likes to talk.

New- investigator. I am so happy about this one. She already comes to church, she goes to seminary with all her member friends, and participates in all the mutual activities. Just add water.

New- Fable??? ZOMG! Elder Walz pointed it out to me in the KMart add mailed to us. Just one more year!

Old- Isaac. He loved stake conference, and he just barely hit it off with his fellow truck driver, Bro. Chavez, the second counselor of the Selma ward. We are so happy about this! Isaac is the coolest, and we can't wait to have him coming to church more regularly.

Old- Elder Reidhead has been the district leader for 4 transfers now. I'm calling all of you to an act of prayer and faith that this does not happen to me.

Baptisms - one on the 9th... hopefully. I want out of this drought!Other than that, I'm exhausted but I'm working hard. Training is tough stuff, especially when the people you train both have ADD or ADHD. If God wants me to learn anything these two years, it's a heck of a lot of patience.

Halloween is pretty exciting though -- We got Risk from a member and since they don't want us out after 5 that day (trick-or-treat! Here's a message!) we're planning on a good night. In fact, we're going to go play some right now. Board games are too fun.

In mission news, we're at about 150 missionaries and they're pumping us up to 180. That means a lot of missionaries are going to be doubled in to new areas. They also want us, as a mission, to double the amount of baptisms we've been getting. Our goal for this year is 660, which means Fresno will be responsible for 1320 baptisms. That is insane! Elder Perry knows what he's doing though, so I'll just trust him and keep working hard.

In other news, I mastered the art of melting a rubber band through another rubber band, merely by thought. Tymon, when I get back, you and I are going to have a sorcerer's duel.

Well, I figure when I start talking about rubber bands, I've pretty much run out of things to talk about. Keep me updated on what's new, and somebody should probably start working on getting me a passport. That cruise we're all going on when I get home isn't going to just let me waltz right on passed INS.Here's hoping you the best,

-Elder Daniels

6 more in Selma

2008-10-20T17:10:00.000-07:00

Yes, transfer calls have once again come, and once again I'll be in Selma, once again with a brand spanking new missionary straight out of the MTC. I guess President didn't think I did it right the first time, so here goes nothing! One interesting thing, apparently the new trend in the mission is to take the trainee out of his first area asap. If that policy holds strong, I'll most likely be spending a Christmas in the Raisin Capital of the World. Turn that into a Disney movie.

A question for the family that has been around me while I sleep, have I always sleep talked or is this new? It's kind of interesting. My missionary side is leaching out while I snooze. I've been quote bearing my testimony, praying, and committing people to read and pray. Hopefully the future Mrs. digs that sort of thing.

We finally got one of our investigators and his mom at church! It was so cool. I was beginning to think that such a feat was impossible! Needless to say, I felt very refreshed afterwards. Not only that, but we've got our Indian family committed to come to church next Sunday. Also very cool. What I love about their family is that they all wear matching daggers at their side. How cool is that??

Out tracting, some lady chose to open the window vs. the door. "What are you guys preaching?" she rasps. "Just a message about Jesus Christ!" I respond with youthful enthusiasm. "Well we already saw God today! You need to go teach McKain!" and slams the window shut. I wondered about that for a while...

Not much else is new. It's hot again, which is good because now I can put off buying mittens, and we've got a baptism coming up on the 9th. It is about time--I thought I was going to wither away in the baptism drought. There's this guy named Chris Sutherland in the ward with a 2 year old named Burton and he completely reminds me of Dylan and Reece. I'll get a picture next time I have dinner with them. Seeing as how the computer is about to give me the gentleman's boot, I'll close this letter with an I'll talk to you later, and throw in a few smiley faces. :) :) :)

Take care family. Be there when I get back, k?-Elder Daniels

It dropped 30 degrees in 3 days

2008-10-14T18:15:00.000-07:00

It dropped 30 degrees in 3 days! What is this, the last days?

So here I am again, reporting on Tuesday, October the 14th. Yes, that is unusual. Apparently for librarians Columbus is some big hero of theirs, so they close their doors and won't let missionaries come email their families. Preparation Day yesterday was different. Normally we spend it playing random games like Ticket to Ride (which is amazing by the way, go buy it), Risk, or Sequence, but since the guy we we're playing with went back on his mission, we're stuck. I spent all day sitting in my bed, writing letters, and reading Jesus the Christ, which isn't a bad thing... it just isn't Ticket to Ride!

Our investigators are doing well. One has been missing his appointments the past few weeks, but he scores redemption points for rigorously studying the pamphlets we gave him. He's actually looking up definitions now. Our Indian investigator continues to amaze us every visit. She actually noticed how it took the Nephites 3 times to recognize God's voice and wanted to know why. Who asks that??? Seriously, she's golden! Nothing major with our other people, except that we're waiting for one to heal up from surgery before the big dunk, but it will happen. It's about time I ended this baptism drought of mine.

Everywhere we go people are telling us how bad the economy is. Unfortunately I still have no idea whats going on, except that there's something called an economy in this country we live in, and for some untold reason, it's bad. I hope you all are fairing ok. Don't go buying anything to crazy like 100 year old pianos (just kidding Angie).

Two days ago I realized that I had become fully cut off from the video game world. As I sat down to teach a new investigator the first, I heard Yoshi screaming in the background. I mentally tried to match in with a game. Brawl? Sonic and Mario go to the Olympics? Then comes in Peach. Well, Smash bros is out. Then coins. Then the kicker -- the item box sound. And so it's come to this. MarioKart for the Wii actually slipped in under my radar. There is no turning back now.
This Saturday will be transfer calls. Expect an update soon. Got to go!

-Elder Daniels

Delicious upgrades

2008-10-06T18:06:00.000-07:00

My mission seems to be all about upgrading. Every single factor that constitutes this two years is all about improvement (at least it is when you aren't a horrible missionary). For example, take my study. I feel like the past 6 months I've tapped into the Matrix and downloaded simple doctrine for dummies 7 times with references to support everything. Upgrade. Take my huge beefy legs. When I first came out here, I couldn't pedal my way out of a paper bag. Now I could probably light up a small city with the shear power I put off. Upgrade. Take my investigators. One knows everything is true but won't make time for God and come to church. He requires an upgrade.

In the three months of being here in Selma, I'm starting to witness an overall upgrade in the quality of our investigators. We've gone from the just nice and "those mormons sure are nice boys" to the actually interested and actually seeking truth type. Honestly, we're setting the stage for a few unexpected baptisms coming up with the people we've found. Life is good.

Andrew, our just-add-water baptism, is out of the hospital and awaiting the Dr's ok, then it's full steam ahead. We're pretty excited. After he's baptized, we've got one investigator praying for a date, another we just have to get comfortable at church, and another that we just have to teach and her whole family will be baptized. Life is very good!

For random experiences, one to put under my belt is testifying to a substance abuser. It's a tactful art. You have to get them off the broken record concern and try and keep them from bouncing around, then hammer them hard with the gospel. Honestly useless, but you never know.

Other random news, Elder Walz, one of the Spanish Elders that lives here in Selma, knows everything I know about Meme's and more. We trade secular knowledge and share GI Joe quotes. My companion's bike has been slowly disintegrating since he got here, and my initial hope for that forsaken piece of hardware to last as long as the transfer seems to have been effectively shot in the face. Let it be known that the Diamondback Edgewood is yet more device crafted by that cunning one that would retard the work of the Lord.

-Elder Daniels

Seiks seeking truth

2008-09-29T10:51:00.000-07:00

Hello hello again from Sunny Selma where the streets are gray and the skies are bluish-gray. Life is ok because we're finding some way solid people to teach of very very VERY random backgrounds. Take this 16 year old girl named Povin. Povin is seik, but for some reason knows all about the bible. When I first tracted into her, I played the card approach. "Here's a card with a few questions on the back. Have you ever had any of those questions?" "Well, I guess I'd like to know how families can be together forever." DING DING DING DING DING! We have a winner! We left her a Plan of Salvation pamphlet which she read thoroughly. I took the liberty of drawing her a big Plan of Salvation map about how families can be together in the next life, gave it to her, and we followed it along. She had some great questions for us. We taught her, her sister, and her mom and they were all highly insightful. Afterwards, we explained about the BoM, Joseph Smith, and basically asked her if she wanted to know whether or not these things were true. They totally do. I've got golden feeling about that family. We then asked if they needed any service, to which they replied, "I think what you're doing is a big enough service." This is too much. Anyhew, we're planning on committing 2 of our investigators to baptism, our 1 is out of the hospital and ready to be baptized in a few weeks, and we found another guy looking for the true church that we've got great hopes for. All in all, I think there may actually be some recent converts for the gospel essentials class this year. Woot. On a secular note, Heath's doing a good job keeping me ahead of the game in Smash Bros Brawl, but that doesn't mean I don't need Halo/Left 4 Dead/Allan Wake updates. Please oblige! My time is up! Take care family!
-Elder Daniels

Really, President, I'm only good at training Pokemon.

2008-09-23T09:33:00.000-07:00

Training is interesting. It's fun in a way, getting your window back to reality through your companion. Unfortunately that window doesn't look over anything I really want to see -- video games, tv, techno, etc -- but at least it's interesting for the most part. My companion is a guy who had to figure out the church was true for himself. He likes to build and fix things, especially watches and clocks, and everyone mispronounces his name. "Nice to meet you Elder Lackey!" "It's Elder Lackley." "Elder Lakey!" "Lackley." "Elder Lockler!" It never gets old. He's apparently a mason back home and can't tell me anything about it, which is all right because I didn't want it to mess with my Simpson's view of his secret brotherhood based off of the stone cutters. Elder Lackley and I have been working hard finding tons of people to teach, each with their own interesting story. For example, one guy wanted us to come back and bless his house because his mom has diabetes, his dad has alzheimers, his sister has a mental disability and seizures, and his brother has "stones." We had a really spiritual first lesson with them. He even made the comment, "I'm going to start coming to your church if I keep feeling this good!" Yeah, I guess you might say we're excited about them. Another person we finally came into contact with is a lady who was so close to baptism before. She pretty much already believes everything. Now all we have to do is get her to quit smoking, which she wants to do, definitely a plus. As for our other WoW guy, he dropped us. You win some you lose some I suppose. In other news, my budget is flourishing here in Selma what with all the free fruit and eggs we get. It's awesome! I've upgraded from Great Value pop-tarts to name brand! Not to mention the V8 splash I'm investing in to keep me all nourished and such, life is pretty good food wise. Want to know something annoying about writing emails at a library? Everyone keeps looking at my screen to see how much time I have left. I wish they'd read this and go away. As for the two people were working with that already believe in the BoM, one loves us and believes we're the true church but likes her church better (?) and the other has a crazy schedule we're trying to work with. His name is Isaac and he's crazy smart. We left him a Plan of Salvation pamphlet to read, and when we went back he basically could have taught the lesson to us. We've got him praying about a baptism date. So what's all this I hear about a centralized Zion for the Daniels family? Everybody's planning on moving right out from underneath me? What, is it so I can't find you all when I get home? Yeah right -- I know how to use the internet! I can find everything! Well, wherever it is, make sure it doesn't snow there. And if it does snow, make sure you buy Slim tennis racket shoes so he can chase birds on top of it. That is all. Well, I hope everyone is happy and healthy and progressing eternally towards their personal salvation. Let me know how you all are doing scholastically/job-ly/family-ly. Take care, and I'll look forward to hearing from you next week. -Elder Daniels

Thanks to Regi, Reece, and Dylan for the band-aids

2008-09-15T12:30:00.000-07:00

I'm sure they'll come in handy soon. So I've got about 5 minutes to throw a letter summarizing the week together, so here goes. Well, I've learned not to reserve computer 3, which is in it's own room, so my companion has been generous enough to let me enjoy his computer for a few minutes. Lesson learned. My new companion's name is Elder Lackely. He's a good guy. He hails from Atlanta Georgia and he likes to fix stuff. He makes an interesting companion, and I'm glad I finally have a companion who can say he isn't from Utah. It helps. Believe me. This week has been interesting. Our investigator Clara has been reading the Book of Mormon and getting a lot out of it! She's so cool! She tells us about how the Bible tells us stories and the Book of Mormon takes those stories so much deeper. The way we came into contact with her is that she used to take care of a member with Alzheimer's, and she has great questions for us. She tells us the Book of Mormon sounds just like the Bible, and she really can't tell the difference. We're pretty excited about Clara. Anyhew, I've gotta go. I'm out of time. You take it easy, and let me know how you all are doing. -Elder Daniels

What did I do to deserve this?

2008-09-08T15:48:00.000-07:00

Seeing as how you're all anxiously counting down the days until my triumphant return back to St. George and into the video game world, you've all undoubtedly realized that my 1/2 year mark has come and gone, and with that, RESPONSIBILITY. Shoot. Just when you get comfortable, stuff like this happens. What responsibility you ask? Why, none other than that of taking a fresh young mind and molding it into the perfect missionary. Yes, I will be training this transfer, and the only thing I think I can expect is much hard work. With any luck my lil' trainee will bring me much news of the super smash brothers plane and maybe a few more nuggets of joy from the outside world, but I'm not expecting much. I'll keep you updated how everything goes. Ground zero to take place at Thursday. Freaky. I'll be training here in Selma, so my new companion will have at least one baptism under his belt after these six weeks. Our other investigator with a baptism date is still have some major WoW struggles, but we're not losing hope in him. He's told us himself how much he wants to be baptized, and maybe it's because I'm a missionary but I believe him. He'll get to meet two other investigators we're working with, each with their own flourishes and challenges. They both believe in the Book of Mormon. One's problem is time. He's so busy! He's really cool to make time for us every Friday though, and he does so because he knows he'll be blessed for it. Now we just have to work on getting him to church. The other has some social anxiety, which we're working to resolve by introducing her to as many members as possible. I'm sure they'll both go far. In recent news, I thought we had it hard in Utah for having to pick and prune peaches every season. California has got it 10 times harder! Has anyone ever picked grapes before? It's a delicate balance of not cutting off your or the person next to you's fingers while fending yourself from the metropolis of spiders while you fight through jungle-thick vines to claim your prize. It's a good time. I'll send a pic through mom -- Troy, hold her hand and help her scan it. So out of curiousity, where is everyone at? Mom wrote a book, I assume Troy is in his last semester at U of U, Dylan's back at Florida studying law for how long? Tymon's raking in the cash in Witchita, and Dad's doing Dad stuff in St. George, about to be released from Bishoping duties? How close is that? Any updates would be nice. One thing you don't have to update me on is how fun Super Smash Brothers Brawl sounds. Geeze, I spent all of yesterday's dinner listening to 3 kids having the time of their life, knowing with all my heart that I could pwn those noobies in a heart beat if I could just lay hands on a controller. I brought this up to my mission president. He tells me I'll be blessed for putting all of the world behind me to serve the lord. Darn it! By the way, did I tell you all about 77-yr-old Bonnie Powell from Tulare? She got baptized this transfer! They did it with a metal chair because of how old she is. I'll totally be sending her a letter today. Welllll, not much else is new. I pray, I read, I teach, and apparently I learn and now they're making me train. This will be interesting. I'm considering Pharmacy as a new major, now I just need to learn how to spell it right. Of course, I hate chemistry with a passion, I'd just be in it for the pill counting. Ugh, I've still got a year and a half left to think about what I want to do with the rest of my life, right? Somebody in the family start a business and tell me what degree to get, then give me a chushy job with a high salary. I'll let you all get on with your lives now. Keep me posted as to what's new and how the country is about to blow apart with the new election. Take care. -Elder Daniels

Free Publicity

2008-09-02T14:31:00.000-07:00

So as I've told some of you, I'm not too bitter about the whole hit and run thing. My bike is up and running with a brand new rim, I'm healthy and unbroken, and looks like I raised a little awareness for our cause. Some little kid yelled at us while we were riding by, "Which one of you got hit?" "Right here!" "Are you ok?" "Ahhh yeeeah." My street cred just went waaaaay up. I think people are even talking with us more out of sympathy. It's pretty cool. All in all, I think that 40$ was a small fee to pay for the publicity. So allow me to let you in on what's going on here in California. Have any of you heard of Proposition 8? As missionaries, we are not to even brush against this issue, but it's the hot key button right now so I'll fill you all in. It has to do with letting gay couples get together and call it marriage. Someone in charge changed the wording to make it sound really biased, "Will you deny rights of gays to marriage?" or something like that, so basically the church is stepping in and saying that's not what it means. It's pretty interesting to see where this will go. I'll let you all go research this for yourself because my attention span just drifted miles elsewhere. I guess that's how interesting it is. Elder Stevens and I have managed to unroot 4 people who all believe the book of mormon is true. Yeah, life just got easier. We've set 2 dates with 2 of them, soft committed the other, and the last was such a surprise to hear that she believed our church was the true church that we arranged a ride to sacrament right then and there. It's such a contrast to what I came into this area to! We've gone from crawling to running in no time at all. I hate to say no baptisms this transfer, but this area will definitely see new members at the end of this month. It seems like even people we've already met are still being prepared for the gospel. This guy we were planning on dropping turned around and made us double take when he told us he'd watched the movie The Restoration a few times on his own, then iced the cake by saying he didn't believe in confession, added frosting flower designs by saying that he could see the great apostasy happening and actually retaught it to us, topped it with some decorative candy palm trees by remarking he'd like to know if the book of mormon is true, and slapped one huge red cherry right in the middle by committing to be baptized when he found out for himself that it was the word of god. Life can be so good sometimes. I'll be mailing mom some pictures next week, which means teach her how to scan and you all get them. Enjoy! Transfer calls are this Saturday. I'm pretty excited. 19 missionaries will be called as trainers so it's pretty much anyone's game. Would I like to train? Hmm... I dunno. It'd be nice to sculpt a young, impressionable missionary in my suave image. After this last transfer, I'm pretty much up for anything right now. Taking all bets for where in the California Fresno mission you expect me to end up. Other than that, not much is new with me. The members are feeding us exceptionally well, my legs are getting huge from all the biking, they gave us our very own car (which is actually pretty lame because we have to wash and vacuum it), and things are starting to happen for us here in Selma, the raisin capital of the world. You stay classy family. I'll talk to you Christmas time. -Elder Daniels

Real life splatter medals aren't as fun.

2008-08-27T13:03:00.000-07:00

Sorry, these computers just won't let me send pictures. Very lame. And on top of that, I only got a 30 minute computer today so I'll be booted off in 5 minutes so I'll keep this one short and powerful. So the other day I was biking along. We live on a busy 4-lane 45 mph street, so we usually cross the street a few blocks down at a stop sign and ride up to our apartment on the left side. Haven't had any problems until BAM! 16 YEAR-OLD GIRL splattered DURKADURKANINJA. It wasn't as bad as it sounds. She turned right into me, I bounced off the hood of her car, I got back up and brushed myself off. The only damage done to was to my bent up bike wheels, which isn't something she wanted to help with. I gave her plenty of opportunities to volunteer help, but as soon as she saw me get up she left in a hurry. We barely managed to get her number, especially since my companion kept blabbering "It's ok! He's ok!" I called back, told her I was ok, got more info, told her about my bike and she still didn't mention anything. Oh well, it was partially my fault for being on the wrong side. I just thank birthday money and Tymon and Angie for their immaculate timing in boosting my checking account! Thank you so much for that! They should be able to bend most of my bike back into shape, but it won't be that much. Maybe 40$. Anyways, I'm healthy, I enjoy telling punk teenagers yelling at us that Jesus loves them and we've got some good people we're working with. Gotta go! -Elder D

The benefits of serving near sequoia finally manifest themselves

2008-08-19T06:38:00.001-07:00

I can’t enclose pictures on this computer! How lame! Family, how is it going? I just got back from Sequoia and boy is my neck tired. My favorite part would have to be the bear that nearly killed us all. We were driving along when all of a sudden the bus in front of us stops. We started complaining about it when I happen to turn to my left and bam! There’s a bear right there in my face, 20 feet away. I didn’t manage to get my camera out fast enough to get any good pictures, but it was so cool. As for Selma itself, I’m really starting to warm up to it. I’m learning how to make the most out of members and our dry spell of dinners is over. We’ve got 6 this week! It’s really very exciting. Enough of the temporal, back to the spiritual. Do you remember that list of former and potential investigators I told you all I was making? Well guess what? It was worth it. We’ve already met two people who have solid testimonies of the Book of Mormon, and there is little to nothing holding these people back from baptism! The first guy’s name is Isaac. Isaac is a truck driver who bought the Book of Mormon on CD and has listened to it twice through already. He loves the story of Teancum and knows that it really happened. I have no idea why this guy disappeared off missionary radar, but I am so glad we found him. We’ll be meeting with him next Sunday. The next guy’s name is James Marquez. James knows that the Book of Mormon is true, he knows that Joseph Smith was a prophet, and the first thing he said to me when we pulled up was, “You know, I’ve been wanting to try and become a Mormon again.” ZOMG! How perfect is he? He’s got some WoW issues that I don’t think we’ll be too big a hold up. He’s told us already how he wants to quit, and the church has a great addiction recovery program here. He’s agreed to start trying to make it to that. We felt so good about James that we set a baptism date for him: Sept 21 2008. I have great expectations for that guy. I’ll admit, when I first came to Selma I was a little worried. I had know idea what I was doing, this was the first time I’d ever had any responsibility! Most of the investigators that the previous companionship had were dropped so we weren’t working with much. But Elder Stevens and I fasted and hit the pavement hard and I guess that sort of thing works. Have I mentioned our golden boy Ozzy? He was so perfect, so ready for baptism, but something went wrong. We’re praying for him, and we’re praying that his mom will still let him visit with us, but as for right now the baptism is off. Soila is doing incredibly well though-- we just have to get her that testimony of the Book of Mormon. Any advice on how to do this? Being obedient has been a bit tough this transfer; it looks like Satan isn’t throwing any punches. It seems like every other family we visit has a Wii, and one even offered me the opportunity to play Super Smash Brothers Brawl. Luckily my shield of faith withstood those fiery darts, but how long can I last! Maybe I should ask my president for special permission… hmmm… The members here are pretty colorful. My companion and I were riding our bikes in the three digit temperature as we often do when all of a sudden some cop behind us turns on his lights and pulls us over. I was going over what Christian cards were at my disposal when Brother Gonzales makes his appearance. He was laughing about it. So were we, especially when I saw the raisin capital of the world sticker on the side of his car and patch on his uniform. They sure love their raisins here. Anyhew, I’ll hopefully be able to send some pictures next week. They’ve got two different types of stations here and I’m hoping for the best. Seriously, I got some highly delicious pictures of myself in front of the scenic landscape, so expect more of the best. You all stay classy. -Elder Daniels

My hands get dirty in the raisin capital of the world

2008-08-04T13:49:00.000-07:00

Dear family, I have nine minutes to write down everything I want to say, so here goes nothing! I am now in Selma California, the raisin capital of the world. I am now the senior companion of Elder Stevens, 11th of 11 children who has been out for about 6 weeks. When I first arrived in the area, we had 2 appointments, which is a problem. We quickly fixed that with some serious tracting and going back over formers. Also, Selma is one of those places where roads stop and then randomly pick back up in obscure places, so I’ve decided to make a mobile map for each of us to carry in our pockets. Believe me, it will help. I just have to find a few more numbers to add to our grid. Finally, my next vision is carrying around copies of the potential investigators and pound them hard until we find the ones that were actually interested or who will progress. I’ll update you as to how that goes. The Selma ward is also covered by Spanish Elders so we see them nearly every day. Unfortunately, this means the ward is feeding two companionships. I’ve had one dinner since I got here. Looks like it’s ramen for Elder Daniels for the next 6 weeks. Sigh, and I was just getting used to all the weight I put on. Oh well. This is definitely going to be one of my tougher transfers, but I’m staying optimistic. Elder Stevens and I fasted to find someone golden to teach and add to our pool. With any luck, we should have at least 2 baptisms but then it’s back to square 1 with nothing exciting on the horizon. Meh, that’s why the Lord brought me here. We’re going to get this place rocking in no time. Angie and Regi have so lovingly set me up a blog, which I can’t really go check but I’m going to assume it’s about the most awesome page on the internet with more hits than hampsterdance.com. Can’t wait to see it in two years! Sorry for the no pictures, I’ll fix that ailment next week when I get a full hour. I hope you are all doing well, thank you so much for the gifts. The microspy remotes are going to be so much fun, heh heh heh (which are way better than the ninja remotes I might add, seeing as how ninjas don't even need remotes. My comp got one after I suggested it to him). And thanks to Dylan and Regi, my bike is now pimped out beyond belief. Well, I’ve got to be going. Please take care, and work on your food storage! -Elder Daniels

The raisin capital of the world

2008-07-28T13:49:00.000-07:00

Family family family,

So it’s finally happened and unfortunately a lot sooner than I would have liked. I was really getting used to the deployable cover that is being a junior companion, and I thought I was doing a pretty good job at making sure life would stay that way, but unfortunately my companion had to be district leader and just had to give me a good review so now say hello to Elder Daniels, the Senior Companion. What I’ll be doing is called “step-training,” which means it’s my new companion Elder Stevens’ 2nd transfer and it’s my job to mold his tender, still impressionable little mind to complete obedience and compliance. This could be fun. Elder Stevens and I will be preaching up the Selma, California area which is quite literally the raisin capital of the world. Expect as many pictures as I can find signs that quote that fact next week.

Along with the unexpected responsibility, the week has been highly eventful. We’ve got on lady praying on a baptism date, and another lady is begging us for a baptism date. My companion, being the spiritual tease that he is, told her we’d set something up if she came to church on Sunday. We also had another baptism this week. Sorry, no pics—I always forget to charge the camera when it actually matters. Anthony Karsten, the man who actually came up to us wanting to be baptized. Apparently that sort of thing doesn’t happen to often. That’s a shame. The work here this transfer really did itself, and the members here were amazing.

Anyhew, I had an amazing birthday. Mom shipped me enough candy to make me comatose, my companion bought me deodarant that smells like peaches, my ward mission leader gave me pez and for some reason half the ward remembered I was 20. I was fed lunch and dinner, a plus, and then it was off to my birthday party (Anthony Karsten’s baptism) where the Assistants to the President brought me my birthday package from Mother dearest. All in all, mission birthdays are pretty sweet. Hopefully I’m not raising the bar too high for my next one.
Anyways, I’ve got to bail before the computer kicks me off. Take care everyone, and keep up the emails! Good day to ya.
-Elder Daniels

How is Albertsons honestly still in business? 7/21/2008

2008-07-24T07:35:00.000-07:00

Family,
Another week, another bilingual baptism. This one didn’t feel as quality as Joan, seeing as how I was basically a cleanup crew missionary. All I really did was finish the fourth lesson and set a baptism date, making sure nothing came in between him and salvation. Oh well! It was still pretty cool.
Nothing super exciting to report here. I fasted that an investigator that hasn’t come to church in two months would come to church and he did. I called the son of a preacher a girl on accident (honestly, if you’d seen this kid you’d make the same mistake too) and we still got a return appointment, most likely so the husband can destroy us but whatever, I’ve got logic, reason, and priesthood power on my side so I think we’ll be fine. If it comes to bashing, I’ll just waggle my finger, testify, and skidaddle. Maybe that’ll work.
This Saturday is my birthday party. Did I say birthday party? I meant we have another baptism on this Saturday and it’s the closest thing I get. This guy is amazing. He’s the one who discovered the Book of Mormon while he was out at sea, read it, prayed about it, and marched up to the missionaries in our ward and announced that he wanted to be baptized. The work here in Tulare is so good these people are practically baptizing themselves. Delicious.
Let me tell you a little bit about the Monday computer rush: We email our families at libraries, which open at 10 AM. Unfortunately the concept of free internet is enough to send the minority groups here in town into myspace fits, so it’s a constant battle to get a station. It’s seriously funny the tactics people employ to get the Internet! They’ll try and sneak through the crowd to get closer to the door, but it never matters. My companion and I just book it to the computers as soon as the library opens. Nobody messes with missionary email time. Nobody.
Anyways, I’m almost out of time so I’ll leave you with my love. Here you go:
<3>

Ello ello 7/14/2008

2008-07-24T07:33:00.000-07:00

Ello ello,
Another Monday’s battle against the Hispanics that want to check their myspace’s for the computers at the library and another victory for the missionaries. It’s kind of funny, because between the two companionships here there are 5 missionaries holding down stations.
The week has been bitter sweet. The heat-wave ended, leaving us at temperatures between 100-109. The bad news is the humidity we’re constantly cutting through. I’m starting to get way too tan to fit my suave gamer stereotype and my ward missionary leader is taking care of my birthday for me. The 26th is going to be an interesting day: Our ward is celebrating pioneer day, so I get free lunch; I’m all set on the dinner end; and, to top it all off, we’ve got some guy getting baptized. I wonder if he’ll bring me a present…
The guy’s name is Anthony Karsten. He is golden. My companion says he walked up to him, looked him in the eye, and said “Who do I talk to about getting baptized.” It doesn’t get much more golden than that. Anthony is in the navy and works down near the San Diego base, so teaching him has been a trick but we’ve been hitting him hard with each lesson. He’s got a testimony of the Book of Mormon, already believes in the law of tithing, is married to a member, and wants to baptize his own son as soon as possible. Honestly, could this guy be any more perfect?
Apart from our awesome successes, I also have a problem I’d like to relate to you all. Microsoft, which has been ever so good to me in times past, has turned its back on me now that I can’t use their system. Four months ago I canceled my xbox live account. I discovered on my own sleuthing that 30 dollars had silently trickled out of my bank account, so I went to Dad for help. Dad, being the ever so wise man he is, examined my bank statement and wouldn’t you know it but who had been caught reaching into the cookie jar but Microsoft themselves. Yeah, that was no good. I got special permission from my president to call and yell at them, and here’s the response I got:
“I’m sorry sir, I will cancel your account, but we cannot refund your money.”
What the heck! Of course I had logic on my side, but this guy was completely immune to it. I explained in 15 different ways how I canceled my account 4 months ago, was continuously charged after, and expected a refund. “We cannot refund monthly subscriptions.” “Well let me talk to you manager.” “May I ask why?” “Because you fail to understand any semblance of reason, your company stole 30 dollars from me, and I expect a refund.” “I’m sorry, no managers are here.” I’ve never been so frustrated in my life!
If anyone knows any way we can either 1) get my money back or 2) put a few notches against Microsoft’s record with Better Business Bureau or something of the like, please let me know and feel free to avenge me according to your wishes. Here’s the information you will need:

How pissed off I am from a scale of 1 to extremely pissed off: I’m extremely pissed off.
If anyone can get revenge for me, it would be the best birthday present I could get.
My companion has been introducing me to all the deep doctrine guru’s in the ward and all I can say is holy crap. Sure, it’s completely useless when you’re trying to convince people to believe in Jesus Christ, but concepts like the Earth spirit, or “Shakeenuh,” and the principles behind how a war can be fought between spirits (and we’re not talking some lame war of words jazz) are more entertaining than The Simpsons. Feel free to blow my mind and throw some deep doctrine my way.
Alas, I’m out of here. I’ve got shopping at Wal-Mart to do, and no, it isn’t a super Wal-Mart. They don’t allow those here in the San Joaquin valley. I have to pay 20 more dollars at Albertsons. Anyways, take care and keep me posted as to the new and exciting things happening in your lives.
-Elder Daniels

The many people praying for my salvation. 7/7/2008

2008-07-24T07:31:00.000-07:00

I love getting told that at a doorstep. Maybe I can get enough people praying for me to counter the spiritual regression of booting the next one that says that in the face? Maybe I’ll just keep laughing about it.
Anyways, one thing about Tulare is that it’s road system is above Sonora’s, but that’s not saying much. It’s like going from no rhyme or reason to an autistic person’s attempt at a grid. Seriously, check it out on Google Earth. I live in the Casa Del Rey apartments too if you’re interested.
The people here are also way nice. My companion and I were spontaneously gifted with bottles of water while we were heading back to our bikes, twice. Some of the people here are also hilarious. There are two pages I’m planning on compiling in the next little while. One is my tally sheet for people praying for my salvation. The next is my excuse page for the question, “Do you think that God could call a prophet today?”
Answer #1) No, because my mom is in the shower.Answer #2) No, because I’m cooking right now!
Also, we’ve been working with a recent convert who works for the Supuru Canadian Cheese factory. They make cheese and sell it to the big labels like Kraft. They also sell it to the generic labels like Western Family and CheeseCo™. The life secret I’m about to share with you may shock and horrify you, so please, make sure Tommy isn’t in the room. Cheese companies are unwilling to manufacture a lesser quality cheese for the generic labels. They take cheese that may be a decimal too much salt content for places like Craft and send it to the generic places, who in turn sell it for tons less. Out investigators final advice: It’s the same cheese! Learn from my wisdom.
We’ve also been working with this guy named Joe Miller. Joe’s an interesting case. He divorced his wife and married her 20 year younger niece and is raising a beautiful baby girl with her. Joe is currently 50 years old and was struggling for a job. In the beginning, he and his wife were very standoffish about the church and the truths that we teach. However, with time he warmed up to everything. He testifies all the time to us. He loves it. His wife hasn’t progressed nearly as fast as him. She still has problems with baptisms for the dead and the concept of a pre-mortal existence, but she’s taking a shine to us. Last week we set a baptism date with Joe for this Saturday. Everyone was super excited. The reason I mentioned the fact that he’s been struggling for a job is what got us. Cue the message we received on our phone: “Hey Elders, this is Joe. Listen, I got called out to go fight fires. We’ll have to reschedule the baptism date. See you in 3 weeks!” We just got owned by raging California fires. Who knows though, maybe it’s a blessing in disguise. Then again, maybe it’s just a major inconvenience. I’ll let you all know.
Alas! The good news is that we still have a golden investigator blipping in our radar. He’s been serving on a navy ship, going to church out there. He basically just came up to Elder Hansen and his last companion and said “Who do I talk to about getting baptized?” Yeah, he’s that perfect. We’re going to blitz through his lessons as soon as he gets another leave date, and with any luck, I’ll have 2 baptisms this transfer. Neat!
Now my time is almost gone and I’m not going to tempt the computer to kick me off, so I’m going to make my last comments. Hope Tymon, Dylan, and Troy’s b-days were swell and hope your fourths were all much, much, much more fun than mine was. Actually, I take that back. It was nice to veg out in our apartment for a while. You all take care, and let me know if there’s anything I can do for you. Yes, that last line is a habit I’m developing. You all take care.
-Elder Daniels

Ha, they think disabling the right click button will hold me back? Pshaw. 6/30/2008

2008-07-24T07:28:00.000-07:00

To my people,
Sorry about last week’s no letter. The computer system in Tulare Library was devised as a secondary nazi plot at world invasion and are thusly excruciatingly unforgiving when it comes to staying within your allotted time logged in. My past week has been a battle with blankets of smoke chilling here in Tulare courtesy of the 800 wild fires blazing here in California, so that’s been fun. The good news is that, besides darkening my lungs, the smoke has somewhat blocked out a good chunk of the sun’s energy and so it’s been a lot cooler lately. The glass is always half full here in the Fresno California mission!
Our mission president, President Beck, is outta here. He turned this mission from a completely corrupt Quorum of the 12 Apostates place to a mission that apparently all the other areas are talking about. For instance, there’s the zone leader from Denver here that told us how they wish they’re mission was as obedient as we were. They made him a zone leader because he apparently didn’t sneak out at night as much as the other missionaries. Holy heck! How obedient were your missions? But anyways, President Beck shaped Fresno into the well-trained area it is and now President Gonzales has some pretty big shoes to fill. Some people are worried that a lot of the corrupt missionaries may gain some bravery and come out of the woodwork during the transition, and, since we’re receiving 18 extra missionaries, may end up training up a new crooked generation. Some people also lose a lot of sleep at night. I don’t. I think I’ll just focus on biking in triple digits and enjoying a home cooked meal prepared for me by a loving member.
Just out of curiousity, how far do our Mormon roots entrench? Did grandpa convert over or just what happened along the lines? And just where did Dad serve on his mission. Heh heh, yeah, I guess I probably could have asked before my mission but now I’d really like to know.
Lastly, happy birthday to Dylan, Tymon and Troy this month—hope you’re enjoying all my stuff! I’m still doing great out here in California and am discovering the esoteric missionary trade secrets everyday. If you’ve got any advice/tricks of the trade, please let it roll in. Any hilarious jokes and stories would be highly appreciated, especially jokes since I’ve completely run out. You all take it easy.

Just one more to make you wonder... Especially you, dad 6/16/2008

2008-07-24T07:24:00.000-07:00

Look closely at that man.
PS: Dad, why do ear wigs have pinchers on their butts? Seriously, what sort of twisted creation even needs to pinch things with it's butt?

So long Sonora -- Hello long drive 6/16/2008

2008-07-24T07:17:00.000-07:00

Good day good day,
Elder Daniels here to report that I did not survive transfers. In fact, they’re shipping me to the polar opposite of the mission, from the northern most boundary to the southern most. During the summer. Without a car. Hmm… my mission suddenly got less cushy. Well, looking past the colossal amount of biking I’m going to have to do in the hottest area of the mission during the hottest season of the year, at least I’ll come out of it with huge legs and a nicely defined farmer’s tan.
Here’s some pictures of the people I’m leaving behind. You’ll notice Joan in all her coolness, and also the Biehl family (all members minus Ian, destroyer of worlds). The girl I was teaching was unavailable for pictures that day. Brian, our golden investigator, is going to have to make due without me. Too bad to. He made a joke about being baptized the first time we got him to church. Little did I know, he was completely serious. Well, there’s one more baptism for Elder Davis. Also there’s the district I’ve been with pretty much my whole mission. One of the Elders is transferring down to the area adjacent mine, so at least I’ll know him. He might not be in my district, but at least we can stand next to our boundary lines and wave at each other. That’s comforting.
And now my section which I shall henceforth entitle: Random agricultural things I’ve learned so far (and I’m sure this is not nearly the end of the random stuff I pick up out here in raisin country): There are tree’s painted white out here. Apparently if you paint the trunk it offers some sort of +1 endurance to it. Go figure. Next, farmer’s call almonds, once picked, ammonds. Why do they call them ammonds you ask? In order to get them off of the tree they apparently have to shake the L out of them. Sister Bowman wanted me to let you guys know I am now officially corrupted.
Looking back, the transfer has been good. I started teaching a lady who eventually became my first baptism, definitely not a hindrance to my ego even though it was all her doing. Really, if people don’t have that faith in Christ we can’t do a thing with them. Had fun up here in Sonora, mastered the labyrinth of streets, made some new friends, andeven hit up Yosemite National Park. The cool thing about Tulare (where I’m being transferred) is that it’s pretty close to Sequoya. Is my mission getting off to a great start or what?
I’ve got another random basher guy for yall, this one the likes of which I have never seen. This guy was all for science, claiming there was no higher being, Noah’s ark couldn’t have actually worked, asking where dinosaurs came from, yada yada yada. What can you do but testify and feel sorry for the guy? My companion brought up that it takes just as much faith to believe in God as it does to believe that there is no God. Kind of an interesting thought. Maybe we planted some seeds or something. If anyone has a hilarious comeback for the scientist type, or even one to get them to stop talking long enough for me to escape, you let me know.
Anyways, I hope you are all safe and secure and enjoying Halo 3 even without the most crucial member of your team. Thanks for all the love and support, and let me know how your father’s day went.
-Elder Daniels

one more. 6/9/2008

2008-07-24T07:14:00.000-07:00

Not quite as entertaining as Strong Bad's, but here it is: 6/9/2008

2008-07-24T06:59:00.000-07:00

Fellow Daniels,
I’m here to report that yes, I am alive (if you can really call life without Super Smash Brothers Brawl really living) and yes, I am safe. How long I’ll be in Sonora, however, is something I’ll be able to tell you next Sunday. Who knows? Maybe I’ll be transferred out of here and my companion will be left high and dry to learn the area all by himself. Ah well, I guess he should have been paying attention while I was driving in the first place.
Tracting: this past week has been some of the best and worst tracting I’ve seen so far. Just to clue you in, Sonora is a place that a lot of people move to get away from it all and not be found. Well hey, guess what? I found all of those people! You can imagine the surprise on their faces when they opened the door for the wind-up and let it slam. My favorites are the doors that have “No Solicitors” signs posted. Anyways, so there we were, tracting Shepard Dr.
Lady #1) I’m talking to her about genealogy. She’s a genealogist and so she knows about the church. My companion jumps in with, “It all really boils down to where we’re ultimately from, and that’s God!” To which she responds “And this is where we part our ways!” *SLAM*
Brian) “Hey Guys, come on in! What, are you Mormons? I’ve actually been looking to join your church!” *Cue heavenly choir*
Stoner #1) The guy opens the door, his eyes buggle out and slams the door with whirlwind force.
And that, my dear family, is what I’d like to affectionately dub the slam sandwich ™. Two house-shaking door-right-in-our-face slams tenderly surrounding one delicious slice of golden investigator.
Next, I’d like to raise a question to all of you. So it’s my companion’s turn to knock, and the guy answers the door. “You Mormons?” “Yes sir we are” I proudly proclaim. “Well answers me this: Is it true that you believe that Jesus Christ is the brother of Lucifer the devil?” Explains my companion, “We believe that we’re all brother and sis-“ “No, answer the question! Is it true or not!” My companion again, “Well yeah, but like I was saying-“ “AND YOU’RE DONE!” *SLAM!*
My response: What the crap just happened! I wanted to ask the guy why that even mattered. So tell me family, why is that such a turn off to other religions. Is it that big a deal that you’re going to go try to tear down a faith? Pshaw, these people need to get lives and they’ll figure it out someday…in hell. Tee hee.
So anyways, Elder Ballard isn’t coming anymore so you don’t have to be jealous. Yeah, he got replaced with another 70, I forget which one. Oh well, they’ll still be good talks. I just feel for all the out-of-the-loop investigators and less actives who are going to show up to stake conference and flip out. Oh yeah, that’ll be fun.
In picture news, another few myspace pictures, some wild life for Reese, Johnny and Tommy, and my comp and I in front of the Fresno temple.
Next up we have Joan and, what’s this? Elder Daniels wearing white? Yep. Last minute our baptizer decides he has a bad back and asks me too. Why not? I met her my first day, I was the one that started teaching her, and she marks number 1 in a long list of baptisms to come. Ha, she’s so cool though. When I baptized her she completely forgot her footing so she ended up on her back in the water, bobbing up and down and asking “Am I clean yet?” One try was all it took, I’m that suave. She later told me that she felt like Jesus was right there besides her when I put her under. Yeah, she’s awesome all right.
Anyhew, our next prospective baptizee is Brian. Just a few bridges we’ve got to get him across. Of course it had to be the most common bridges out here: coffee, smoking, living with his baptized-Mormon girlfriend, the works. I’ll keep you updated.
Thanks once again for all the emails, they keep me highly entertained. Tell Halo 3 I miss her, and I’ll hear from you all again next week. Cheers.
-Elder Daniels

Here's a couple more for the wall 6/2/2008

2008-07-24T06:56:00.000-07:00

And now, without further "apu"... 6/2/2008

2008-07-24T06:44:00.000-07:00

Fa-fa-fa-family,
Yes, I am still alive. California isn’t that dangerous. Although there are rampant Jehovah’s Witnesses running amok out here, and people still think that the rapture is somehow scripturally based but I’m jumping these bridges as they come up. For instance, some Jehovah’s Witness told me that Jesus was crucified on a stake on not a cross, as if that somehow mattered in any minute way in the grand scheme of things. He also had the nerve to ask me to think about “What side would Jesus be on” in war. Then he tells me that there is only one religion in the world that doesn’t condone war or the soldiers who fight. Holy crap! I have never wanted to lay a guy out the truth more in my life! I didn’t say anything though, because really, what good would it have done? Some people won’t listen even if you repeatedly tell them the truth.
For example: We tracted into this guy who said he’d read the Book of Mormon and didn’t believe it. We asked him if he’d ever prayed about it. He completely side-stepped us and said he prays about a lot of things. Next, he tells us that we all need to ask ourselves, “where are we going after we die?” We told him straight up. He stumbles, “yeah, well, we need to always ask ourselves where we’re going after we die.” Then he twisted doctrine to claim that the bible states that baptism is not essential using the woman at the well, waters of life analogy. Egads, could this guy be more confused? He just kept saying the same thing over and over again, so we eventually gave up and moved on. Maybe he’ll listen over on the other side.
So I was glancing at all the games I’m missing out on, and I’ve got serious concerns. Ninja Refles for the Wii: I think Satan wants me off this mission pronto. How awesome must that game be! Somebody get me the reviews!
Our investigator Joan is doing so amazing it makes me want to dance at the end of each lesson. I had her read Christ’s baptism. I asked her how she felt about baptism. She looks me straight in the eye and says, “I need to be baptized!” You wonderful 77 year old, where have you been all my life! She dropped smoking after 63 years in a single day! Her baptism is scheduled for next Sunday, and as long as she makes church, she is on the fast track to the holy ghost, except she gets confirmed two weeks later due to stake conference… shoot!
Stake conference, omg omg. Guess who’s coming to speak directly to Elder Daniels. I see that you’re intrigued, so I’ll spare you the guessing. Yes, it’s Elder M. Russel Ballard, and I’m going to get a picture of me in the same room as him. Why he’s speaking to the Modesto North stake is beyond me, but hey, one thing I’ve learned on my mission is not to ask too many questions.
My new companion is teaching me a few handy tricks in the kitchen. For example, take that Denny’s sandwich Moons over My Hammy. Yeah, I’m never paying 10 bucks for that again. Consider it made in five minutes.
Also, ever heard of Perkos? Yeah, me neither, but I’m eating there tonight with Bro. Bonner.

A final note: Don’t forget Father’s Day. Dad wouldn’t like that sorta thing.
Anyhew, enjoy the pics. I got the good computer this time. These pictures make manifest my majestic glory in front of an inferior, yet still lovely Yosemite landscape. Also, there’s deer everywhere here in Sonora. I’ll see how many I can cram into this email. Feast your eyes.

Back after long anticipation... 5/27/2008

2008-07-24T06:41:00.000-07:00

Hello Family!
Yes, I am still alive. You must be asking your monitors “where was our letter last week?” Well I’ll tell you. I, that is, Elder Daniels, was in Yosemite national park. Yes, we got in with a part member family and enjoyed the sights, sounds, and a free lunch at the Awahne. A piece of advice: Always charge your cameras before you go to world acclaimed national parks. Lucky for me, Sister Aimes has been to Yosemite with the Elders a million times, so she let me use her camera. Expect pictures.
So then, yesterday was Memorial Day, which is lame because it means the library was closed. Fortunately they let us email on Tuesday if that’s the case, however they only let us email for a fraction of the hour we’d normally have so expect this letter to stick to the basics.
Joan Meeks: Smoker for 63 years, smoke-free 13 days. I love life. She is so cool. She calls us her sons and keeps telling us she wants to make us dinner, so hey, soup and salvation sounds pretty good to me. We’re hoping to have her baptized by next Sunday. I’ll keep you updated.
Out tracting on the rolling mountains of Sonora, Elder Davis and I had the pleasure of climbing up to a particular house where the resident lady commented that we must have been sent from God. Do I smell another golden investigator? So we set up an appointment with her to come back the following Tuesday. We showed up. She was gone. Disappointed, we turned and went our ways. On our way from dinner yesterday, we decided to stop by and see if we could catch her. Knock on the door, there she is with the same old tired excuse: I got into a crippling car accident. Yeah, we accepted the neck brace as a good excuse. Hopefully we’ll go somewhere with this. Will update.
Last story: Hungry for the lunches we packed to church, we rushed into the church kitchen when a shocking revelation was made known unto me: We, the missionaries of the church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, had been robbed, in the church. That’s right, someone swiped our sandwiches. What the heck! Considering the ward, we think it may have been the girl with downs syndrome. I guess that means nobody’s going to hell. Darn.
Well I hope all is well. Expect a much bigger letter next week. Thanks for all the letters and keep me posted on the goings on of the world!
Elder Daniels
PS-gas is 4.20 here. Yikes.
PPS-ok, so I'm never getting this computer at the library again. I'll make it up to you next week with double pictures.

Post Mother's Day Carnage Report 5/12/2008

2008-07-24T06:34:00.000-07:00

Hey look! I can attach pictures and save money!
May 12, 2008 – the day after Mother’s Day.
Mother’s Day was pretty awesome. I got all-you-can-eat tacos at the Bowman’s, ice cream at the Biehls, and the lesson I made up in 30 minutes about families was a hit. 8:00 rolls by and I whip out my blue cell phone, punch in the Utah area code and soon I’m talking to mom. We covered all the important stuff: how clean my room is, when the next Twilight ™ book comes out, what horrible unspeakable things Troy is doing with my car, etc. I even got to yell at my cat. All in all, I’d say it was a pretty successful phone call. My hat goes off to Regi and Angie, sorry I couldn’t call ya but when I find the loop hole I’ll try. 3-way dialing may be the answer…
So I got my new companion. His name is Elder Davis. From the second I heard his name, I knew the alliteration wouldn’t lead to anything good. “Davis and Daniels? That’s easy to remember!” EVERYDAY. Glass half-full, at least my fake laugh is coming along quite nicely. Elder Davis is a pretty cool guy. He doesn’t weigh much more than me so I’m in no imminent danger of being crushed and my candy supply is safe. Elder Davis is from Kaiser Oregon. He serves his mission in California. Ergo, I feel much better about my mission.
Tracting story: We knock this door. Asian lady who can barely speak English answers. Long story short, she tells us we aren’t straight and gives us a million dollars to go away. Check that life-long goal off my list.
This mission I drive. I get home last night only to find a car parked in our covered, assigned parking spot so naturally I did what any other God-fearing missionary would do and left him a card for a free Lamb of God video. I consider yesterday a complete success.
Our 1 progressing investigator Joan Meeks (77 year old awesome lady) is turning out to be pretty golden. She asks us questions, she loves our answers. Last visit was about the Godhead. “That makes so much sense!” We finish that lesson off with a follow the prophet lesson. “Will you commit to following the prophet Joan?” “I think anyone who believes in God would!” Oh Joan, you’re so perfect. Word of Wisdom lesson ahoy. Hope she’s as golden when she drops her smokes.
Other than that, the people up here are real slippery. We’ve got one member’s son who apparently wants to be baptized but the member won’t get back to us. Surprise visit is our next course of action. We’ve got another family who was married to a member until the divorce and, now that they’ve lost a loved one, we think they’re ready for the gospel. Now if they’d only be home when we show up.
Anyways, I hope you enjoy my highly attractive pictures. I’ll start sending one or two a week now that I’ve figured it out. I’d do more but myldsmail.net gives me cramps.
-Elder Daniels

I do enjoy free dinners 5/5/2008

2008-07-24T06:30:00.000-07:00

Dear people who share the same last name as I do,
What is up? I hope you’re all getting my weekly lil’ emails. Let me know if you aren’t so I can go complain. I am doing well, just a little concerned because I passed the Missionary Dinner Calendar around and nobody signed up in the second ward, and they cover half our supper supply! I’m going to have to make it look really empty so they’ll feel guilty and pass it around again. I should be safe for this week though, so don’t worry. Oh, and Bro. Bowman, the coolest guy ever that totally looks like his job (sergeant patroller for the county prison, white slicked-back hair, little gut, those small circle glasses you see in old westerns) signed up for 2 taco Sundays this week. Oh my gosh I love that man’s tacos. He deep fries corn tortillas and throws everything on the table for an all-you-can-eat extravaganza. We wash it all down with crystal clear water from his private well. All in all, it’s a good dinner if I do say so myself. Tonight I get to eat at the Claytons. Probably won’t get anymore dinner appointments with him (he’s a less active that really likes my companion) which is a shame. He used to own some restaurants so he’s way gourmet. He even made me eat artichoke, and guess what? It was freaking amazing.
So along with the food, everything out here is delicious. Transfer calls came in 2 days ago and I get to stay in Sonora. My companion goes home (which means I get all his stuff. Cha-ching!) and Elder Davis comes in. I don’t know if you RM’s had this slang going on in your missions, but the person who trains you is your father, you are his son and anyone else he’s trained is your brother. The second person who trains you is your step-father. When you serve with a missionary who’s going home, you are effectively killing him. To piece together my situation to sound as morbid as possible, I killed my daddy and now my brother is my step-father. Sure I’m not senior companion yet, but I do get to drive this transfer and Elder Davis gets to be the one waving his arms around like an idiot to back me up. Woot!
I was leaving the apartment when these smoking cuties walk by. They couldn’t have been more than 15. What makes them smoking cuties you ask? They each had a cigarette in their mouth. Disgusting! I nearly gagged. Where are these little girls getting this stuff? Everybody smokes out here. I love catching people out on their porches lighting up while tracting because they’ve got nowhere to run. To combat this abomination of an epidemic, my ward mission leader hooked me up with the “STOP SMOKING LESSON,” all caps to emphasize a point. Here’s to hoping it actually works – cheers.
Oh hey, I heard about a new job while I was out here. It’s called hospital administration. Apparently it’s the job that nets 6 figures that nobody knows anything about. Apparently they just breathe and make that money. If somebody wants to get back to me on that expect an appropriate smiley emoticon in your near future.
We set a baptism date last week, and I believe that calls for a second woot. Woot. Her name is Joan and she loves her dear Jesus. Her testimony is so strong! She randomly brings up tithing in one of our lessons – we’d never talked about it—and says that she doesn’t expect a free ride. She tells us how tight money is, wants to tell us how much she makes (we stopped that), but reassures us that the Lord will take care of her. O to the MG, it’s like our work is already done for us. Life=Good.
My companion got sick for the 3rd time in his mission a few days ago so I got to spend the day enjoying the apartment. I might also mention that the 2nd time he’s ever gotten sick was also with me. Needless to say I’ve been sucking down the airborne and exercising like crazy. I’m still nice and fresh, hallelujah! I can’t believe how I dodged those two bullets but oh sweet Master Chief am I thankful. Anyways, I used the time to finish the Book of Mormon and made sure to tell the mission president seeing as how he’s the one who challenged me to get it done. I also told him not to hesitate with any new challenges, i.e. mastering the Spanish language. Unfortunately, my mission president President Beck is about to be replaced with President Gonzales at the end of this transfer so he’d better hurry and switch me soon or I’m in trouble. Let us pray.
President Gonzales comes from an area where they won’t let the members feed missionaries unless there’s an investigator there. Missionaries from that area report that they are half-starved. Elder Daniels remarks that he is freaked out and worries that the weight he’s so joyfully gained will disappear. Let us pray some more.
Anyhew, back to the Book of Mormon. Here’s the part where I get spiritual (sorta). The book just makes sense. How could it not be true? It compares so well with the Bible, nothing contradicts, and that Shiz is quite the character. Oh Shiz, you so crazy! I must be off now, thanks for your letters! Peace!

Missionary me 4/28/2008

2008-07-24T06:27:00.000-07:00

Family,
Let me update you as to how much cooler missions are in my day than yours. P-day rolls around and we go to the library for one hour to use the internet. We get to go to one, count em, one site – myldsmail.net, the worst e-mail client ever devised by man and beast alike. Then we go to wal-mart for all my low price needs, purchased by my jp morgan chase bank card. Afterwards, we drive in a nice, air conditioned car while the smooth crisp scent of cinnamon wafts through our nostrils back home to our highly air conditioned apartment to clean it up a bit. Oh yeah, this is roughing it.
There’s a place called Oakdale in this mission that smells like doodey. If you’re going to come visit, close your windows while you drive through it.
We have one cd in the car that we’ve listened to about, oh, I’d say three thousand times. Holy crap. They make cheesey Mormony jokes in half the songs that my companion still laughs out loud at and repeats. Here’s one: Took 3 years of French in high school, spoken with a certain ease. (something in French, ribbit) soon he’ll be speaking Japanese. LOL. >_<
It’s crazy how many hitch hikers there are up here in Sonora. As missionaries, we’re supposed to talk to everyone and wave at all the rest, but I always feel so guilty when I wave as we pass these people. Wait, did I say guilty? I meant rich. Here’s an awkward story: We’re driving, we see a hitch hiker. He puts out his thumb. We pass by. We drive a while, then pull over to decide where we’re going to go next. We’re talking for about 2 minutes when my companion looks in his rear-view mirror and says, “oh crap!” I turn around and this guy is booking it towards our car. We left him in a cloud of dust.
Doing the speed limit in California is highly offensive to these drivers. It’s like they see a sign that says 35 MILES and 50 clicks in their minds. One of the funniest things is cutting someone off then obeying all traffic laws. They like to tail gate. I like to laugh at their frustrations.
This is my companion’s last transfer. Apparently when you serve with someone who’s going home at the end of the transfer it is considered “killing” them. I don’t know about killing him, but I do know that I get all the stuff he doesn’t want to take home. Score! I hope to murder many a missionary in my day. Here’s to cold-blooded-killing—cheers.
Have I mentioned how well the members feed us? I love this! Do service for someone, get a free lunch. Don’t do anything, still get a free dinner. There’s this one guy named Bro Bowman. He works for the prison as a patrol sergeant and he totally looks the part: White slicked back hair, circle glasses, little rounder. He’s so cool! He’s one of the best cooks in the area. Yesterday was all-you-can-eat taco Sunday. I am loving life. In fact, I’m over 125. I left at 112. Life = good.
Anyhew, I need good ideas for teaching games. I’m probably going to buy a whiteboard for Pictionary/plan of salvation/whatever I feel like when I save up the money. Thanks for the letters and keep me updated.
-Elder Daniels

People stare at me -- I feel attractive 4/21/2008

2008-07-24T06:25:00.000-07:00

Dearest family,
First off, I would like to address a problem with the mailing system. If you don’t get my huge spam email then get it from another fam member. If they didn’t get it then clearly the missionary’s email system isn’t quite as inspired as the church.
This next part may make some of the missionaries in the family a little mad. Here in Sonora, we get cars. Yep, cushy, plush cars. No messing around on bikes here. In fact, they discourage riding bikes, so I get to roll straight stylish for all the hunnies. However, there is a catch to driving cars. The missionary not driving is responsible for making sure the car doesn’t back up into anything. This means taking on the role of air traffic controller behind the car and waving your arms around like a burn victim that’s still on fire. People watch. People laugh.
Want to hear something gross? I met a hunchback dog the other day. Only its hunch wasn’t on its back. It waddled from the its side and looked big enough that it looked like someone had taken a slightly smaller dog and glued it to the original dog. To make things grosser, this just had to be the friendliest up close and personal dog I’ve ever encountered in my entire life. Yeah, I gave in. I poked it. The nightmares still haven’t ceased.
Let me tell you about some interesting Sonora architecture. Apparently some designer didn’t think the buildings were dangerous enough, so he took some razor sharp rocks and glue them to the outside walls. Who doesn’t love liability court cases?
California has no Taco Time’s, so naturally my first thought was “What the crap?” That’s about the time my companion rolled up to the glory among glories, the fast food restaurant to rule them all – In and Out. What the crap indeed. Has the one in St. George opened yet by the way?
I’ll never forget the day I was studying with my companion when what should interrupt my laser-tight focus but a knock at the door. Turning the knob, not even I, Elder Daniels could have expected what lay behind the door. I think I’ll carry this experience with me throughout the rest of my life. 32 oz of syrup. Thank you little kid! Because I can really afford pancakes! The bottle sure does look good on top of our fridge though.
I kind of miss mom’s cooking, but feeding the missionaries is somewhat of a regal occasion here in Sonora. Everyone dresses their tables with fancy table cloths and decorative center pieces and set out huge banquets for us to dig into. It’s great! I don’t think I’ve ever not gotten dessert too. Dinners come at us at least 5 days a week and I can confidently say that I left that 112 lb boy way back in St George. I am now the 125 lb man who types before you. Now if only the ladies would leave me alone. Oh well, the sacrifices I make for my God.
As for our investigators, our 2 with a few issues have decided to stand us up. That was fun. Then, when Elder Christensen and I were driving along, we see them walking to the gas station (they lost their car), so we stalk them a while and then “Hey! Fancy running into you two here!” We got another appointment, but we’ll see what happens. They’re pretty much dropped, but I should have seen it coming after noticing the Scientology book on their coffee table. Why people decided to create a religion based on the ideas of a science fiction writer I will never know.
Millie is interesting. She’s asking questions, and we taught her how to pray. It was funny because she says, “So that’s why my prayers aren’t being answered!” I just kind of looked at her and smiled.
Joan Meeks (jo-ann) the 77 year old lady with an amazing testimony in Christ told us that she believes the Book of Mormon. Way cool! She’s struggling with her health though and hasn’t been able to make it out to church which, as you may have already guessed, sucks. We’ll keep working with her.
We got a new referral too. A girl who ordered a Finding Faith in Christ DVD. We called and left messages after messages, but they wouldn’t call us back so we did what any other missionary would do and just showed up and scheduled an appointment with her. Heh heh heh, I’ll update you on that one later.
Anyhew, my hour is up. Write me back much love. Tymon, take care of that Wii. Lemme know whats new in the video game world. Take it easy.
-Elder D

Food Is Good 4/21/2008

2008-07-24T06:15:00.000-07:00

Family,
Hope everything is sunshine, lollipops and rainbows. It’s finally no longer freezing here in Sonora, but Elder Christensen and I have two very different opinions about the optimal temperature. He’s a 70’s and below kinda guy. Of course I’m 80’s and above, so the thermostat kinda jumps around. Also, he loves his cold fridge. I constantly have to break through ice just to get to my water. But he’s a cool guy. Pretty funny and loves Taco Bell, just like me.
Have I told you guys how much money Elder C and I are ripping off of Taco Bell? Taco Bell has one of those deals where you drop money in, and if it lands on a certain pedestal then you win a free taco. Wow, are we good. I spend a dollar or two at lunch, then win the other half of my lunch. Good stuff. Oh, and get this. He doesn’t like lettuce on his taco’s either. Crazy!
I think my taste buds have finally developed. I just tried macaroni salad and artichoke for the first time and they were tasty beyond reason. I even eat salads now to keep members quiet. Has anyone heard of tritip by the way? It’s some kind of cut of beef and everybody in California practically inhales it. Dinner/youth group activities/ funerals, it’s insane.
Elder C and I have an investigator named Millie. She’s from the Bronx, living with her less active husband and his highly active family. She refuses to take lessons, but she loves games so we come up with ways to stealthfully teach her. Last visit was Gospel charades with any chance of sacrilege effectively destroyed. We’re running out of ways to teach her so any ideas would be much appreciated.
Much to my shock and horror, it turns out people don’t like us Mormons as much as I thought. Preach my Gospel missionaries are supposed to talk to everyone and wave at the rest. I wave like a pro. Half my wave-backs are smiles and nods. Half are guys who want to come rip my pretty little head off. Seriously, I thought this 12 year old on his 7 year old bike was about to spit acid at me, but I guess acid-spitting pre-teen demons are all apart of preaching in Silent Hill-- I mean Sonora. I’ll keep my guard up.
Nobody fixes their cats here. We live in Quail Hollow. Elder C calls it Cat Hollow. So I guess the Price is Right was justified in telling people not to forget to spay and neuter their pets.
All right, my hour time limit is up. You keep it classy family.
-Elder Daniels

How I hate this mailing system 4/7/08

2008-07-24T06:09:00.000-07:00

The address:
Elder Daniels1814 N Echo AveFresno California 93704
This is where you send the fruit snacks/moneyz. I'd give you my actual address but my comp is adamant about obeying the mission rules (apparently we're not supposed to do that).
Ok, so first up on the agenda. I found my very first part member family that has Super Smash Brothers Brawl. Am working on procuring companion that will play it with me on Mondays. My comp is rad, just very obedient.
Secondly, conference was torture. They make me wake up at 6:30 everyday and run me around for a week straight, what do that expect is going to happen when they put me in a dark, warm room on nice comfy pews for 2 hours? I struggled, I'm not going to lie. I did love Holland's talk though, that guy is a stud. Monson is awesome as ever, too. Also, did anyone else notice that Harry Potter has joined the Mormon Tabernacle Choir?
I have to say that this is the first conference I've paid serious attention to. The other conferences I always had my gameboy out or something (sorry dad! :D). I'd have to say I get what the apostles are saying.
Thirdly, teaching ADD kids is NOT fun, but definitely hilarious. I'm showing this kid a visual lesson from Alma 50 about protecting the home from Satan's arrows, when all of a sudden he stands up proclaims, "In the name of God, leave this house!" Apparently he was into protecting houses or something. Regi, Angie, don't let your kids watch those ghost hunter shows unless you want this to happen.
Troy, I'm probably going to take that advice of getting up at 5:30 instead of 6:30. I need all the study time I can get.
Wow, myldsmail just dumped the entire message I'd been working on. I hate life.
Anyways, no study time at all. I'm still not even done with my zone conference talk that's due tomorrow. Do you people realize the talk system they use at zone conference? Get this -- they make everyone right a talk and only two people give it. Which two people you ask? Well they don't tell you until the second before those two people actually give it. I though sacrament meeting was supposed to be spiritual, not completely nerve wracking. This is so messed up!
Sonora. If I squint my eyes I swear I'm in Silent Hill. This place is all hills, and the pollution makes it to where you can't see very far, there's a huge eerie lake, and I swear there's some underground cult trying to rip the place into "paradise." I think those people are the Jehovah's witnesses. There are winding roads that cut up canyons and across mountains, a token old-timey red church, and last night I took out some nurse demons on the way home. If Troy could send me the steel pipe, I'd be much obliged. I'll send pics as proof of my first assignment to Silent Hill as soon as I get my camera.
My first companion's name is Elder Christensen. He's 3 times my weight at about 330 lbs, 6'3" and had cancer in his leg that stunted his growth. Go figure. He reminds me a lot of Dylan with his happy-go-lucky attitude. He bought me In-and-Out Burger my first day, so he's had me from day one. He likes to point out the pretty ladies. He's served in Sonora a year earlier for about 9 months, so he's practically my living map when I drive.
Lunches are good. I spend two dollars at taco bell about once every 2-3 days. How do I accomplish such a feat? Well my dear family, I'll tell you. It's because I'm a winner. They have this deal where you drop a coin onto a little platform and spin it, making the coin drop from level to level until you land on the winner platform. I'm pretty sure Taco Bell will know my name thoroughly by the end of this transfer.
Sorry I didn't get to send out individual emails by the way. Like I said, I'm re-building this email from scratch after myldsmail crashes, and I only get an hour a day for computers.
My final point: Boxer walks up to me. I pet Boxer. Boxer looks at me. I pet it again. Boxer cocks head back. Cat-like reflexes weren't enough to save my tie, but my pants escaped the situation un-dog-barfed-upon.

Break It Down 3/11/2008

2008-07-24T06:03:00.000-07:00

Yo. Just to remind my beloved family, the email thing happens every p-day (as does the letter thing). I don't have Troy's home address, so do what you will with that one. After this email, I'm going to try and get one out to Dylan and Tymon, but I can't really make too many promises ecause they keep you way busy here. I think I may finally be used to waking up at 6 now. They actually want you up at 6:30, but if you value a hot shower then you make the sacrifice. One thing I should add about the showers... there are two types: Scorching hot and sub zero. There is absolutely no in between, because if you even touch that knob it'll start hailing snow. The food's good. Trying to eat healthy but trying to get huge at the same time. Also, it took me until the end of Sunday to realize that I'm missing out on brawl, so I'm assuming thats a good thing... psh, I'm going to be such a noob when I get back... Oh well, I'll still be better at halo than Dylan, heh heh heh. My 3 roommates are all going to Fresno with me, which is just cool seeing as how Troy was wrong and I didn't get stuck with the socially awkward. My companion's name is Elder Hancock. He's a gangly Idaho kid thats taller than me. Plays basketball pretty well so when they make me do gym I just pass it to him. Speaking of gym, four-square here is the most intense thing I've ever come across outside of video games. I think it's my physical calling. Gaming around is all right and everything, but like I said, I'm trying to get huge so I work out. I figure by the time I bust out of this place there'll be a few female investigators interested in the gospel as according to Devin.(side note: no spell check so bear with me.) Anyways, mass emails are kinda lame since a I can't really focus on anything. I'll just use these for updates. Everybody let me in on your current situations and it'll give me something interesting to talk about until I actually go drop some gospel down on the hunnies. Side story: After you guys left, I grabbed my bags and headed for the residence when suddenly I hear some random guy behind me say to his companion, "Want to break it down now?" His companion responds with a steady beat box, to which the first guy starts rapping to "ice ice baby." Needless to say, it was my first spiritual experience here at the MTC. -Elder Double D